A
female
age
36-40,
*psgirl6
writes:My very committed boyfriend has a best friend who is another girl. They have been best friends for years and had a sexual thing once (despite her feelings for him which lasted much longer) but seem to only hangout and talk when I am not around. He stopped hanging out with her when we first began dating; pretty much dissolved their friendship. I left him for about a year and during that time they quickly resumed their previous friendship of hanging out and talking all the time. We got back together about 6 months ago and have been living near each other for the past 3 months. Once I moved back she stopped contacting him and he stopped calling her as much as he used too. I trust that he has no emotional feelings toward her more than just friendship.He has been trying to hangout with her for the past couple of weeks and I have encouraged him too with one request that they do not go out on his boat together without me. They spent a lot of time together on the boat when they hungout while I was not around. He just let me know of his plans with her to do lunch this week as well as his plan to take her on the boat aferward. I am upset about his decision but feel like getting mad again and talking to him about it will not resolve anything.Am I crazy for getting upset about the boat and should I just let it go or should I try and get him to change his plan to go on the boat with her? What are some options for dealing with my feelings toward this situation?
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female
reader, Dee206-7 +, writes (23 June 2009):
 I would not trust him hanging out with her at all. If I were you I wouldn't deal with him at all. Remember, it ain't where he's at, it's where he wants to be. Let that go, permanently.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): First of all I don't know what your feelings are if they are best friends. I also am unable to see a problem with the guy or girl if they are best friends. He does not seem to have a problem but more like you do. At the very least you should be able to trust him more and give him space with his best friend. He's your boyfriend and you spend all the time with him, I don't rly see harm in letting them have be alone for once.
I don't know what your options are but I would recommend to deal with your jealousy or dissatisfaction that his life or attention isn't 100% yours even when you are not around. I don't know if anyone sees my view as well, but hopefully someone does and can shed a little light on this for me too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): Oh, please let me add that I do find it unecessary on his part that he would take her to the one place you requested against. I'm sure what was behind that request, but whether or not HE understood it, it seems it was not a hard one to follow. And not doing so shows a certain lack of respect, sensitvity, i'm searching for the right word, but I think you'll understand.
~SY.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): I'm sure others will offer great advice, but personally, i feel i need to know why you are against the boat in order to judge the severity of your situation.
what is the difference in him taking her on a boat and him taking her to say.. the mall? or a restaurant? Does this boat hold great meaning in the past relationship between him and his friend?
~SY.
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