A
male
age
51-59,
*ntrovert
writes:I am a married man and my birthday is coming up soon. The thing is, the gift I would like to recieve is a little out of the ordinary. I would like to ask my wife to give me the gift of letting me watch her get a massage from another woman. I'm not really interested in doing a threesome or anything like that, but the thought of watching my wife get rubbed down by another woman is a huge turn-on for me. The thing that worries me is that although I have a lengthy sexual history, my wife is a little less adventurous than I have been. I would not want to touch the other woman, and she wouldn't have to do anything sexual with her either, but I would definitely enjoy the sight of it all. Do you ladies think it would be out of line for me to ask for this for a birthday gift?
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married man, sexual past, threesome Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2009): I have an example for you: woman says why didn't you two ever hook up? man says-because she slept with that nasty dude! woman hears- I haven't slept with her yet cause she is still sleeping with that guy !what is said and what is heard is two different things and as for the her past, that cannot be brought into this... if i were her I would be worried about you daydreaming of other women after that. Typical female stuff---im not pretty enough, enough woman,,, blah blah blah... we tend to rant a little and add way more to it.. my point is---- is it worth creating a possiable insecurity?good luck and happy birthday... (with or with out the happy ending)
A
female
reader, ask.m +, writes (23 April 2009):
 Dear Introvert
personally I dont see anything wrong with your Birthday Idea.
However my concern is how awkward you feel aproaching your wife regarding the same! you've mentioned sexual mismatching between you both.. this cannot be easy to live with. My advice is to tell your wife what you would like. Afterall its not exactly outrageous & in doing so - not only may you get your Birthday Wish .. you likely increase the intimacy within your marriage.
M
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A
male
reader, introvert +, writes (23 April 2009):
introvert is verified as being by the original poster of the questionEmilyanswers,
I have done something for her that I thought I could never do...forgive her for infidelity. I hope that counts.
I will however take your advice and not make this request ruin my birthday, if she isn't into it.
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A
male
reader, introvert +, writes (23 April 2009):
introvert is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't want to "make" her swallow. That title was not the title of my choosing lol. I knew it would ruffle some feathers.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): As long as the other woman is clothed i'm sure that she'd be fine
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (23 April 2009):
So you want to make her swallow, AND try lesbianism?
What do you do for her?
I think you need to work on one thing at a time. If you are going to ask for something for your birthday then you are basically saying "do this on this date or RUIN a special day for me."
It's a LOT of pressure to put on her.
You seem to be here asking how to make your wife try a lot of new things. Why is it you suddenly want to experiment so much?
Deal with one thing at a time and ask her about HER fantasies too. Take it in turns.
But if she just isn't comfortable then you can't make her do something.
Good Luck!! xx
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