Big problem, don't know what to do, please help?

A female age 51-59, *BKsGirl writes:

From the moment he stole that first kiss, my heart belonged to Bobby Kortright. Life has been an adventure with him. It was during August of our 5th year together that he began an affair with 'Aunt Jeannine'. Just so we're clear 'Aunt Jeannine' is a relation to Bobby's ex-wife (and mom to his two children). In all the years we've begin together, I've never heard him say one nice thing about her. I was shocked on August 20, 2008 when he told me of the affair. Since that point in time I've gotten COUNTLESS phone calls, voice mails, text messages, letters in my mailbox, photos, missing mail for months... and finally a sex video. Yes and for all of that she and Bobby come up with a wide and bizzare explaination because 'its not her'- even when its her voice and her phone number- 'its not her'. As if I have NASA linking up radar to 'spy' on him. I did mention he told me, right? Jeannine Lanzetta went as far as illegally using my home address and enrolling her 12 yr old daughter in school. The first day of school I had her daughter getting off the bus here. AS IF! I gave Bobby the opportunity to make a 'change' but he refused, so true to my word, I notified the school. That launched an investigation resulting in the child being expelled. I do want to interject a few things A) despite the affair, Bobby and I have never been apart. our relationship has NEVER come to an end and B) Jeannine lives in the basement of her mother's house, has three kids by different men (the last trapped in a pregnancy scheme), is on NY Financial and Food Assistance (commonly known as welfare).... From the get go EVERYONE, me included warning Bobby. Ok, now I can go on. In October from her phone number I get messages of her talking with Bobby about having another baby. In November Bobby comes to me and poses the question, "If we were happy and together and Jeannine turned up pregnant in a couple of months..." He didn't get further because I burst out sobbing. In December I recieved a voice message in Jeannine Lanzetta's voice- confirmed by Bobby and followed up with a return phone call from me, on speaker phone with Bobby- saying that she was pregnant. Both of them said it was just a 'set up' and she really wasn't- but having heard chatter on this topic, I wasn't so quick to dismiss the skank. Did I mention she's 40 and has had three kids, the youngest about 5 years old- she knows about birth control and where babies come from. Well she refused to go to the doctor's and finally went with her 12 yr old daughter for pregnancy tests. That was three weeks ago! Everyday he says he asks her and every day she hasn't spoken to the dr, the dr didn't call... there's always an excuse. He says he doesn't know how to end it and if she's pregnant she's agreed to have an abortion saying she doesn't want another child- so he doesn't want to upset her, because he's seem how she is with the fathers' of her other children. She's a money grubber. As I said Bobby and I still live together and yes, to be blunt, we had sex. So he's never been honest or faithful to her. I actually felt bad for a while but that time she left me a message about being pregnant (she said it was her but she never called me, she called Bobby's phone)I straight out told her (in front of him on speaker phone) that he had lied to both of us and we were still sleeping together, etc. I told her the truth and she suddenly turns up 'pregnant' two days later! Bobby thinks she's too stupid (and he talks about her fat cow ass and thunder thighs, etc) but over the months it seems most people think she's more than capable and manipulative. No one is surprised by her skanky scheme. As for Bobby, he continues to tell me how much he loves me and that he can't be without me, he doesn't know how to end it with her, he made a mistake, etc... He says pretty much everything an emotionally starved, heartbroken, betrayed heart wants to hear- and sometimes I'm so hungry to believe it, I think he's sincere. Here's the thing- if he loved me, truly loved me, he would end the affair and work diligently to rebuild trust with me, right? I mean he's left me no choice- My heart breaks as he runs into shower, get dressed and run to spend time with this skank. Granted he spends MUCH less time with her but there's no way this can go on- its a dual life.

View related questions: abortion, affair, ex-wife, heartbroken, money, pregnancy test, swallow, text, trapped

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A female reader, RBKsGirl  +, writes (3 February 2009):

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A female reader, RBKsGirl  +, writes (23 January 2009):

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A female reader, RBKsGirl  +, writes (23 January 2009):

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2009):

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A female reader, 48years  +, writes (7 January 2009):

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2009):

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