A
female
age
41-50,
*weetpea10
writes:I’m in a long distance relationship (living two hours apart). Been dating my current bf for the last 6months but only been going out together for the last two/three months. I'm in my early 20's but this is my first boyfriend and also my first relationship and I'm also still a virgin. We only get to see each other at weekends and sometimes for just one day at weekends but we talk constantly during the week. He wants to go to a comedy gig to see a comedian he likes. He asked me about 5months to go to one of these gigs with him, would have been one of our first dates but I couldn't go that night. About a month ago I mentioned this comedian is playing in a city about 3hours away from both of us and I suggested we go to see him on the Friday night when he's playing and make a weekend out of it. So the weekend in question is next weekend, my bf booked the Friday off work to go down a while back so we can have 3day weekend. We never really spoke about the coming weekend until a few days ago and now it turns out that he has a rugby match to attend on Saturday evening, which means we will be leaving to go down to the city on Friday afternoon go to the gig that night and come back home early Saturday morning for him to make his match. The comedian's playing over the next two weekends but he cant go next weekend because he's going to a concert next weekend and I have a friend's batchellorette party the following weekend so I'm not around then and after those weekends the comedian does not have any gigs scheduled until late Autumn! Now I know he's wanted to go see him for ages and I know I made the initial suggestion to go see him in the other city and have a break together (would be our first time away together) but if I'm being honest, I don't want to go now. Its just having to go down and then come home the next day would be too rushed I think and we wouldn;t get to really relax because we'd be constantly travelling (which I told my bf was my reasons for not wanting to go), plus I'm not sure I'm actually ready to spend the night with him, even if I don't actually sleep with him. Now my bf has told me hes cancelled the tickets So I've suggested that I go up to him for the weekend instead but he doesn’t seem too keen on that and I know he wants still go to the gig. Problem is I’ve let him down on few occasions before, saying I’d go to stuff and then when the time comes around not going with him for one reason or another and I’d say he’s like oh here we go again she’s letting me down yet again. What do I do now?????? Back down and go or just try to do something else or weekend? Please help
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, QZ  +, writes (28 June 2010):
 Sometimes things just don't work out, and it certainly isn't your fault a rugby match of his came up (and I agree - I wouldn't drive that far away only to come back right away). Plan something sweet as a "I'm sorry date" instead, perhaps?It seems like both of you have other plans and are busy, so he really can't blame you. Just don't make a habit of backing out of dates; after a while people get tired of that.
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