A
female
age
36-40,
*adyt
writes:Ive been dating my current boyfriend going on three years. He's 37 i'm 24. When i first met things were nice...he seemed to be all about me. I dont know how it started with him asking for money but its turned into an everyday thing. He has no shame in his game. I wont even be in the front door all the way b4 hes asking for money. He calls me when we're not together and asks me to pay his phone bill for him while i'm out. Or he'll call and ask me to call and order food for him and pay with credit. He even comes past my job to get money (even while i was 8 months pregnant with his son) ---thats a whole nother topic. But he's not working, hes had a couple of jobs on and off while weve been together. Even when he was working he still asked for money. I even purchased a car with alot of convincing from him and he would drop me off at work and not come and pick me up or not answer his phone in the morning and force me to catch a cab to work. Mind you i'm the only one putting gas in the car. Everytime we've ever been out i've paid for everything. Hes never even gotten me a card for my birthday, valentines day or any holiday for that matter. Even though i always get him something. Hes been claiming that he wants to marry me but why would i want to have a grown dependent. Now i have son with him whos 1 month old and i'm finally starting to wake up. Why couldnt i realize what a loser he was before i got pregnant? Is it to hard to believe that he came to the hospital after our son was born (mind u he missed the birth) and asked me for money. And he wants us to get a place together...i dont think so. I mean i want to so bad...but deep inside i know we cant be together. I'll be homeless, dealing with him.
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female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (6 August 2008):
 You have been with this loser for three years?????What I found more unbelievable is that you choose to have children with him too. Answer me this.... What things has he bought for you and the children? I would have showed this total w**ker (a guy who jerks himself off) the door years ago, he does not put no imput in this relationship one iota. Please hun, do yourself a favour get rid of this waste of space and do what is right for the children my dear. You will be nothing but his meal ticket, period.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): You know, there's only one bit of advice I can give you here, and I'm not quite sure how to put it politely. Maybe I can't. In which case you tell him to F**K right OFF!
He's what we over this side of the Atlantic call a sponger. Get shot of him. He's useles. A deadbeat. Spend your money on you, not him. What does he think he is - your pimp or something?
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A
female
reader, shandygirl +, writes (5 August 2008):
 You sound like a sweet, good hearted girl. I know it is harder than it sounds... but, JUST SAY NO. When he asks for money, tell him you don't have money to give him. You have the bills to pay, you have a child to care for.
Tell him that you can't do this thing alone. Tell him that you need him to get a job to pull his own weight, and to help you.
If you don't, then things will remain the same. And if they remain the same, what good is he to you?
You are right... you do not need a grown dependent. You already are proving that you can support yourself, by supporting all three of you. If he doesn't change, then You don't need him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): LEave him. It can only get worse!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): Darling, you're on the right track by considering letting him go. He's draining you and will continue to do so as long as you allow him. If you love him, give him an ultimatum. If he refuses to change, then you'de be silly to stay with him. Better now, since the child wouldn't know the difference, otherwise if you wait, it will be worse when the child is older.
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