A
female
age
26-29,
*ust that girl
writes:I've been in a relationship with the love of my life, but with every relationship there is a problem, he kept me a secret for 3 years and always had time for his ex he would never contact me when she was around and told me that she was just really close to his dad. I was young and had listened to his every bullshit excuse, "love goggles" He then got her pregnant, he told me it was through IVF because his dad was dying, it was so hard to handle because on the side I was still a secret and had watched the whole pregnancy till she had the baby was one, it broke me. But I loved him so I would have done anything to be with him. People told me he was a liar and a cheat but I was to nieve to believe it. Till one day after valentines day a friend of his ex asks what's going on between me and him and I of course say we are together and happy, with disbelief when I read what she had wrote "I knew you were getting fucked over" and she organised me to meet up with the ex. We talked about everything turned out he had been sleeping with her behind my back the whole time and she was conceived naturally. We went to his house together and confronted him, he just went mental and told us to get out. After everything a week later he came crying to me saying he didn't know how to get rid of her and that he loved me and it had taken me a month but I took him back, through all the heat breaks all the lies I had taken him back. He is now being everything I had every wanted, its just I can't stop picturing him with her, and having to deal with the fact he has a kid its kills every day, but I support him through everything! I just need to know how I can move forward to make this work ??? Help please!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (19 April 2013):
 you can move forward by NOT making it work.
he is a liar and a cheater and if you take him back he will know he can lie to you forever and you will forgive him and he can cheat and you will forgive him.
So you get back with him knowing he lies and cheats and he knows you know this... this tells him you ACCEPT his bad behavior and you think you are worth nothing less than a lying cheating man with a bastard child.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 April 2013):
 How can you not see that he ISN'T this perfect guy you think he is or want him to be?
You are his "dirty" little secret and he assumed you are DUMB enough to believe his bullshit. WHY would a young girl have IVF ? So she could be a young "single" mom? It makes no sense at all. IVF are for women who CAN NOT conceive easily or without "help". STOP being so naive and wake up, girl.
How can you move forward? DUMP his ass. And start WANTING MORE for yourself. Why waste your life on a guy like that? You really think that if you stay with him he will STOP cheating? He will stop being the baby's DAD?
He will not change, he will just get better at hiding his "misdeeds".
Stop letting him or any other guy use you as a doormat.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2013): "I just need to know how I can move forward to make this work ???"You can't. He is a liar and a cheater who was sleeping with another girl behind your back while keeping your existence as his piece on the side a secret, and when he got her pregnant he concocted a shamelessly preposterous lie invoking his allegedly dying father. And yet he managed to weasel his way back into your affections and bed with some lame self-serving crocodile tears, and now you profess "he is now being everything I had [ever] wanted." He is a worthless POS who will continue to treat you like dirt while he shamelessly takes advantage of you (which will be for as long as you let him), even as he tells you everything you ever want to hear. I suspect that you must have very low self-esteem and zero self-respect to let such disgusting, reprehensible, bottom-feeding behavior slide just because he cried and "told me that he loved me." What he's showing you isn't love, it's utter contempt.When will needy, insecure, clingy chicks ever learn? Don't believe what a scumbag SAYS, believe what he DOES.I can only hope that you wise up before you let him get you pregnant, otherwise you're dooming yourself and your unborn spawn to a hellish existence from which you'll have no escape.
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