A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend walked out on me abt four months ago and i was devasted ,anyway after afew wks of depression i picked myself up and started going out with my friends and started enjoying life again but i just couldnt bring my self to start dating even though i got a lot of offers!then abt 7 wks my ex started begging me to get back,but i said now way cause he had hurt me so much i guess i was afraid,but he chased me every step of the way trying to convince me that he had made a mistake, well i gave in and were back together abt 3 wks and everything was going great, wen suddenly he tells me that he wants to be honest with me and that he was seeing another girl for a few wks while we had split up,i know we werent together but im really deeply hurt and feel sick to the pit of my stomach, please tell me how to deal with this
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2010): Without knowing how long you were together or why he broke up with you it is hard to tell whether he genuinely made a mistake and is being honest now you are back together or whether he is messing you around. Personally I have never understood breaking up and getting back together unless there is a good external reason for the split.
Cerberus is right, what's to say he won't do this again? And he didn't cheat but he did break your trust by dumping you and changing his mind. So you deserve a really good explanation. It is normal to feel jealous but the fact that you are so upset makes me think that maybe there is more to work out here.
Hopefully your boyfriend is working to regain your trust and commit to you so that you no longer need to feel insecure about the future of your relationship. I hope it works out, but don't let him have a relationship entirely on his terms or let the fear of him breaking up with you again stop you from taking care of your needs.
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (16 June 2010):
 Technically, he did not cheat on you, and it was actually big of him to tell you about this other girl.
You have to look at this second relationship as a NEW relationship and not as a continuation of the first relationship. Your boyfriend did not break your trust. You made the decision to take him back after he dumped you the first time.
Whenever you feel hurt by his dating while you were apart, just remind yourself that he didn't do it while you were together, and he regarded you enough not to cheat on you, and that you'll trust that he won't do that this time around either.
Also, remember, this girl he dated for a few weeks couldn't hold a candle to you, or he'd still be with her. :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2010): So he walked out on you, left you devestated, so he tries out a relationship with another girl, that doesn't work out, so he decides it would be easier to get you back than try again with some other girl and you're wondering what you should do?
He dumped you and left you devestated, you decided to take him back even after he had hurt you really badly.
You have to decide whether you want to be his doormat that he can walk all over. He left you once for whatever reasons decided maybe that was a bad idea once he tried to date another and that failed.
I think you're missing the point, you're jealous that he was seeing another girl, when you should be angry that he could so easily dismiss you and then come crawling back begging you to forgive him. What's to say he won't do it again? How do you know he hadn't been getting to know this girl for a while before he left you?
There are a lot more questions you should be asking about this whole thing.
If any of the above is inaccurate then you just have to get over your jealousy of this woman, it didn't work out and he's back with you.
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