A
male
age
30-35,
*ecret_Squirrel
writes:I'm in a stable loving relationship with a great guy. we are living together and engaged.One of his fantasies has always been to have a threesome with an older guy.I'm not entirely adverse to having a threesome but I have major insecurity and jealousy issues which I think might get in the way of our relationship afterward.He does everything he can to keep me happy and I don't feel I do as much back as I should so have said if he wants to and I'm okay with the other man then we can go ahead with it but the only reason I'm doing so is to keep him happy.What should I do? The idea does turn me on but I know turning a fantasy into reality doesn't always work well and should I do it just to keep him happy when I have my reservations.
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engaged, jealous, threesome Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (21 January 2009):
 ****He has said he loves me and never wants to do anything to hurt me so he feels a threesome would be a 'safe' way for him to do what he feels he missed out on as I will be there involved and know about it.****
Basically he wants to cheat while you are there..
The fact that he almost blames you for having "missed" out on promiscuis sex is really of putting to me.
All I can say is if you don't want to do it or feel comfortable doing it - then don't. It is not something you can take back later.
A
male
reader, Secret_Squirrel +, writes (21 January 2009):
Secret_Squirrel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes he wants a m/m/m threesome
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 January 2009):
So he is interested in guy/guy action with you participating? Or did I misunderstood?
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A
male
reader, Secret_Squirrel +, writes (20 January 2009):
Secret_Squirrel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionEven more news relating to my question.
He said seen as he got with me before he came 'out' he did not experiment as much as he would of like to.
He has said he loves me and never wants to do anything to hurt me so he feels a threesome would be a 'safe' way for him to do what he feels he missed out on as I will be there involved and know about it.
This has made me feel inadequate as I now feel I'm not enough for him but I can understand his view which makes me feel my view is insensitive.
He understands my feelings as every other guy I have ever been with has cheated on me so I'm incredibly insecure about him spending time with other guys let alone sharing a bed with one.
As you can see I'm quite an emotions run person but I'm really coming round to the idea of a threesome and am so confused by everything.
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A
female
reader, tarasimone +, writes (20 January 2009):
I've heard having a threesome really damages relationships you just have to think about how you will feel afterwards.
For me I would be more jealous if my boyfriend wanted to have a threesome with another girl..but because he wants to have a threesome with you and another guy i dont think its as bad as with another girl...if you know what I mean?
Just make sure you are totally and completely comfortable with it...if your not then definatley do not do it, he should respect you for telling him the truth!
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (20 January 2009):
 i think you both neeed to sit and have a serious chat about this because from what i have heard about 3 somes they are best left as a fantasy.
You should not do this just to keep him happy relationships are about love and trust, if you are insecure of what may happen in the future do not go through with this. Keep the fantasys exactly that, the reality is only disapointing and could lead to someone getting hurt
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 January 2009):
Unless it's something you TRULY want don't do it. You will regret it.
I know loads of people have fantasies about 3-somes. And I know quite a few people, who tried to live that fantasy out and most of them regretted it 100%.
I don't believe in doing stuff for a lover/partner/spouse "just" to make them happy, specially not if you have reservations. I believe in trying stuff because you want to. Hubby has always wanted to watch me do a girl. I don't want to do a girls so it's not going to happen. However I didn't get him a very hot video with girl on girl action and watched it with him.
I don't consider myself a prude at all, I just know what I will and will not do. We have some bedroom rules. They go like this; We will both try EVERYTHING that other ones wants to do, as long as it doesn't involve other people, kids or animals... After 10+ years of marriage we still have a pretty hot sexlife that involves sex at least once a day (usually more).
Fantasies are fun, but I firmly belive that you do not have live them all out.
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