A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Over the last year or so, I've gotten a little bit closer with this girl I work with. We get along really well, and have a fun little dynamic between us. I don't see or talk to her outside of work, or anything like that, though. I think I'm starting to "like" her a little more; actually, I'm not really sure how I feel. I don't typically "look" for girls to date (honestly, I've never had a girlfriend, never dated, or anything like that), and I like spending time with her at work when I can.Thing is, I'm really not in a position to date (and I don't think I will be for the next few years). My life is pretty much a mess, has been for a while, and will probably take me years to sort it out. Not to mention, I don't think she's "interested" in me in that way, anyway; what we have isn't really "special" or "unique", she gets along well with most people. I don't really get the feeling that she's interested in me as anything more than a friend. And I'm okay with that.I'm just... worried that I might start getting ideas in my head, letting myself fall for her, and ending up being weird. I like what we have, I just don't really trust myself to not start wanting more.How do I stop myself from wanting more?
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female
reader, idontknow33  +, writes (9 August 2012):
If you think your not in a posit ion to date someone that's fine. I think its great you want to get your life sorted before sharing it with someone special. If the moments you have with this girl don't feel so special or unique don't think too much into the situation then. Just think of her as the attractive girl at work. Maybe in the future you two could be together. But if you think you need to prioritise other things in your life that's fine. However being attracted to her is a good things, its healthy. It will make you want to go to work even more and probably give you just a little bit more motivation to sort things out. Although if you do find yourself wanting to date her, go for it! It will be nice to know if you two could have worked out. But that decision is completely yours. Sometimes people like her will leave you wondering how different it would have been if you'd dated. :)
A
male
reader, yuffie_lover495 +, writes (9 August 2012):
 I think you should tell her about your feelings, there's nothing worse than not telling someone about the feelings you have about them.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 August 2012):
 Usually when I start having "those ideas" about someone, it's an indication that i'm ready to date...
this is actually how real good long term relationships start... you don't meet someone and magically say "date material"... they grow on you...
why if you feel this way do you feel you are not ready to date?
if you say your life is a mess, maybe you think that but not her? maybe letting her have free will is a good thing too?
perhaps you could squelch this by asking her how she feels about you... after all if she doesn't feel that way about you (is that what you are really afraid of) then it's a moot point how you feel about her...
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