A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My fiance is always getting sexually frustrated with me and it is always about the same thing -- him wanting to perform anal sex on me!!! I'm not down with that. We've kind of tried before. Last night, we had a slight argument about it. Of course I satisfy him sexually. But any advice as to how to go about doing this or what should I really do. He is begging me all the time to let him perform anal on me. But I always say "no".
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anal sex, fiance, sexually frustrated Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): I agree with another poster. Take this as a sign of things to come. Get out
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 January 2009):
 Oh honey, this guy is a loser. Sorry, but he is. If you choose to stay with him, you're going to face a lifetime of pressure, and emotional blackmail, and worry about him, because he's already showing his true colors now. His M.O. of pressure/blackmail has probably worked for him, or he simply hasn't grown beyond the toddler mentality of "I WANT IT. And I'm going to pound my head on the floor till I bleed and hold my breath until I turn blue." He has some growing up to do, if he ever realizes it, but the experience will be at your expense.
Sometimes, people simply aren't sexually compatible. It sounds like you two are not and he's trying to force you to do something you are not comfortable with. What might he think of next, if you do cave in to his pressure and allow the anal?
The only part of my butt he'd be seeing was the denim-clad silhouette of the butt cheeks on their way out the door forever. (Of course, it's a very tiny silhouette.) Stand your ground and do not allow yourself to be treated in this way.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (6 January 2009):
 "what you won't do for your man, another woman will"
That is totally out of line. He's saying that if you don't do it, he'll find another girl that will.
You should treat this as a MAJOR WARNING SIGN about marrying this guy. If he cared about your feelings he would not be pressuring you into doing something like this that you have no desire to do. And the fact that he's threatening you about it is really worrying.
Are you sure this guy really loves you? Are you sure you're doing the right thing. From this it sounds like things are not how they should be.
Also: never let anyone pressure you sexually into doing something you don't want to do. That can lead to a lifetime of problems.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe tells me I can put something up his butt. But still, if I were to do that, I still don't wanna do anal sex. Oh, he asked me last night had I ever heard of the quote,"what you won't do for your man, another woman will". No, I had never really heard of this quote. If so, I dont remember. But can anybody tell me pretty much what this means. I think I know, but I just want to know for sure.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (6 January 2009):
 It may be wise to start reevaluating your intention to marry that guy. Based on your contention that he is "always" getting frustrated, arguing and begging you "all the time" to do something that you do not want to do, it seems that his respect for you is rather lacking. Sexuality between partners should be compatible and mutually consensual.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): If I was you, I would either do two things.
1. Tell him I would only let him have anal with me if I got to stick something up his butt. Fair is fair
2. Tell him firmly that I said no and he should respect my choice and he should stop nagging like an old lady.
That's just what I do.
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