A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am only 16 but have met a guy that I have totally fallen in love. We have all these plains togethere and want to get engaged next year on our 1 year aniversary. Im just woride that no -one will take us seriously becasuse I will only be 17. Is it ok to get engaged young?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): That is the best answer i have heard Flynn 21
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2008): Stranger things have happened and more than one coupling started this young.
I'd wager the majority or relationships born out of the World Wars and in that time period have lasted a hell of a lot longer than those today, and a great majority of the time people were married off at younger ages back then.
But back then people took marriage seriously and divorces were not the done thing so once you were in you made the best of it you could.
Today its all about individualism. No one is willing to sit down and compromise. They want it the way they want it and no way else.
That said, if you trully want to get engaged what right have anyone of these people here, myself included, to tell you its a bad idea. Only you know the answer to that.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (6 May 2008):
I think probably almot everyone here on this web site will be able to tell you that there views and ideas of what love is was very different when they were 17 as to what it is now when they are much older.
Its part of growing up, we learn more things and our maturiy and emotional levels change.
I know that when I was 17, I thought I was in love with my bf who was abusive. BUt at the time I had no idea what he was doing was abuse, I thought it was love. Then when we broke up, I missed him like crazy despite the fact that he treated me so badly and made me upset all the time. But what I have finally realised now that I am older and probably wiser I guess you could say, is that I wasnt IN LOVE with HIM, I was IN LOVE with HAVING a bf!
This is a common mistake many girls make. They fall into the trap of loving to have a bf, not actually loving the person they are with. They are in it for the wrong reasons.
Also another thing to consider is that when you are young, you havent yet become the person you are going to be. So you will change in so many ways. Not just look wise, but personality wise. Your values and attitudes are still developing- they will change and you cant stop that, its part of the process of growing up. So who you and your bf are now will be very different, 1 year later, 2 years, later and 5 years later. This is my main reason for thinking its not a good idea to get engaged or married at a young age beause you still have so much changing to do. Contrary to popular belief, love doesnt conquer all. You can love somoene to death but if you both differ in so many ways it wont make a relationship work. You have to have similar values and beleifs, desires and wants in life, and both have respect for each other.
So that is some things you should think about. If you really want to go to the next step to make a commitment, maybe you could get engaged, but dont ger married for many years later until you have both grown up to be proper adults- this doesnt mean 18 as the law defines 18 being an adult. Emotioanlly and mentally you still ave growing to do. I would say wait until 25.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2008): listen it's not the wisest move to get engaged so young...even more so since you have only known him for 1 year at the VERY LEAST wait till your 18...course even then your still young you got your whole life ahead of you dont rush things.
-michael
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