A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This fall I moved to Michigan from New England to pursue my doctorate, leaving my boyfriend behind. We were not living together, (I was actually living with my parents, while I tried to get a music career rolling) but had been together for two and a half years. Because of my specialization, I couldn't get an advanced degree locally and very much needed to do that. He couldn't move, because he teaches music at the college level and it's hard enough to find work without moving, let alone to the state with the highest unemployment rate in the country. Still, he was very supportive - going back to school was actually his idea, although he remembers it differently. We'd been long distance before, which didn't work great, but we made it through. We decided to try to do it again.After a few weeks the fights started and finally he broke up with me at the beginning of October. Since then we've continued to talk every night. I've visited him once and he's visited me once. We still say "I love you." He says he's happier, because he doesn't feel frustrated that he can't be with me or fix something for me when things go wrong, since he's not my boyfriend. We've agreed to that it's okay if the other person starts seeing someone else.Here's my problem - I don't really understand where we stand. I don't feel like things have changed that much since we broke up except we fight less. If he really loves me, why are we broken up? He's coming to my family Christmas and I never said anything to my family. Should I tell them we've broken up? Have we broken up in more than just name? Am I being creepy by not admitting that it's over?Any comments appreciated.
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