A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi i wrote up about 4 days ago about my wife because she had lost someone close and i didn't know what to say to her or anything. Well thank you for your replys and shes starting the feel better now the funeral is over and up until yeterday when she went back to work she was fine.Well heres what happened she went back to work and everything was ok and she felt fine.She works at a junior school and has been told that she like the other teachers in that year have got to look out for this boy as hes been cutting himself, shes told me before that hes in care and is sometimes hard to handle. Well she came home yesterday and seemed ok she said she was glad to be back and also told me about this lad. After that nothing was really said about it and it wasn't until the night time when she seemed abit down and i guessed it was bcause of her dad as she still does get tearful which i expected infact i didn't expect her to be as fine as she seems to be now whether its helped that the funeral was really early or not i don't know(it was yesterday btw and it was her choice to go back to work so soon)but she seemed to be putting herself own alot asking me why i put up with her and i just assumed that she was trying to hide the fact she was thinking about him-she tends to bottle it up alot. Then she asked me why are you doing all this for me when i couldn't be there for you when you needed me? Now i'm not gona write down the whole convo but i figured out what she was on about. It was when i tryed to kill myself when i was 16 because of stuff that had happened with my mum and btw i havent seen her since i went to live with my gf whos now my wife and my life is perfect so please don't tell me to try n patch things up with her because that wouldn't help either of us. Then she said well if i can't figure out one little sentence until this day then what sort of a person does it make me!"scratches don't scar" now i said that to her because i used to cut myself when i was 16 for the same reason and i didn't want hr to know so i just told her that my aunties dogs had scratched me as they did kinda look like bad scratchs and i told her a while after when i went to live with her scratches don't scar as i didn't want to com out and say i used to cut myself and she never really understood what i ment but as time went on it was never brought up again and i haven't done it since and never will. Now she knows that she was one of the reasons i didn't go ahead and kill myself she did more than enough for me to help me.the thing is SHE KNOWS IT! I think it's because of this ad that its come back to her and i know its never truely left her mind about what happeneded back then but you can't blame her can you. I'm just wondering are these sorts of things normal after going through loosing someone? Or is it just that its suddenly come back to her and shes feeling bad? Shes been back to work todayand has just got home as she comes home straight away on a thursday and so far she seems ok. What other things can i expect? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007): thank you for your reply i am doing,she is still the same but i'm hoping it will get better i'm sure it will! to be honest with you if it wasn't for her i wouldn't even be alive today! lol
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (21 June 2007):
 Losing someone close to us effects us all in very different ways, once the numbness of losing someone wears off then often comes overwhelming feelings of anxiety, anger and despair that can develop into a depressive illness, these are generally all quite common and with support from family and friends these feelings will start to fade, so just keep reassuring her that she was there for you and if it was not for her you would not be where you are today and you might think it abit early to return to work but sometimes that is better than just sitting around thinking about it at least she will now have something to help keep her mind off it abit.
Take care.x.x
...............................
|
