A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been going out with my boyfriend for a bit more than a year. Lately, everything that he does seems to annoy me. The way he jokes about everything, the fact that he has no money no career and doesn't even have his own car, and the sex is boring. I sometimes feel ashamed of being seen with him or introducing him to people as my boyfriend. But beyond all the superficiality, I really do enjoy spending time with him and I know he is a genuinely good person and probably does care for me as he says. I still get mighty jealous when he hangs out with other girls. What does this mean? Why are his flaws so obvious to me all of a sudden when before I could overlook and accept them? This is my first long relationship. Are these signs that perhaps it's time to let this go even though I still enjoy being with him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2008): My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and 7 months and he to doesn't have a job, he does act immature but i love him. Think about how you never know what you got until it is gone. Yeah, there are other fish in the sea but if you test it out and can not find someone as good as your boyfriend you will realize that you lost someone good and the next girl will come along. Follow your intuition, yea your boyfriend may seem like a jerk but we're young their mantality is different that a girls, a girl is more mature if you need to take time to figure out what right for you first then worry about him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies so far everyone. We're both 25 (this is my sister's account so that's her age showing). I finished university 3 years ago and have been working steadily since, while he is working part time and is still trying to finish up his university degree. He hates school, and I understand that studying is not for everyone but it seems to me that he has absolutely no idea what he wants to do with his life. Having no money is one thing. The important thing is to have the drive and motivation to succeed, and he doesn't have that. Everyone tells me that I can do better. I feel like I'm wasting my time because sad to say this, but my clock is ticking. I want a man who can provide for me and has financial stability. I just don't know if being able to have fun with someone is enough when I see no future with him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2008): He needs to get a job. You don't want to have a man living off of you. It seems in this day and age that happens alot. What the hell is up with that. If he dose not get a job I say to tell him bye. Plus your getting bored. And the jealousy thing even ex's when they see that they are with someone else even though they don't want them get jealous. It's more like I was and am better then her or him. Hey if ya wanna hang with me you better got a J-O-B! No job no date he should pay for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2008): you overlooked the flaws before because you were still in the "honeymoon phase" i like to call it. where in the begining everything is absolutely perfect because you have a strong connection with someone and any flaw that they have is basically nothing. extremely easy to overlook. now that you have been together for a while and are getting to know him more and more, the flaws are showing through stronger and stronger. in my opinion, i believe that after a year or two, you dont feel the same as you did, then its not meant to be. my exhusband and myself were together for 9 years before we married. thought he was the one for me. didnt notice his flaws for a really long long time. years actually. ended up marrying him and everything just let loose. he showed me the real person that he was and i had to get out. i have been with my new man now for over a year and i still see not one flaw. caring, loving, hard working, devoted to making me happy. that doesnt mean hes not gonna have flaws. i mean, he farts as loud as he can at night just to gross me out. but i overlook them cause i love this man.you need to ask yourself. do you love this man enough to deal with his flaws or are these flaws not something that you can put up with for years to come? some like farting in bed are one thing, but no career, or car or money is another. do you enjoy being with him enough to potentially not have any financial security from him? i think you probably can gather what my opinion is. good luck
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