A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 31 year old female and I've been in 2 relationships back to back (kind of overlapping actually)combined total of 12 years. My current or ex, depending on how you look it, and I are pretty much through with ALOT of heartache. Is it so wrong to just want to go be with someone, anyone, to make myself feel a little less pain. Of course I would be upfront about my intentions and careful, but is it healthy or will I completely regret it and feel horrible about it? I don't think I can feel anymore pain right now, I just don't want to loathe myself after. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, I'm gonna see if I can do it. Maybe my mind won't let me go through with it, who knows, but the rest of me sure the hell wants to!
A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (1 September 2008):
 If you know it's a one night stand. make sure you don't get your emotions involved. Don't spend hours on the phone getting to know each other.
You could end up falling for the guy and then you have to find another guy to get over this guy.
Keep feelings and emotions out of it to protect yourself.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI so needed to hear to go for it! I am very curious about being with someone who is almost a stranger. Every relationship I had, started very slow and then blossomed. I do respect sex and monogamy, that's why I have never done it before, but right now I feel that I would feel so lifted of this pain, if only for a little while. I don't want to start a string of one-nighters, just lift a little heaviness from my heart.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (1 September 2008):
A one night stand if done properly can be a self esteem boost and no one need get hurt.
But they can be addictive, so only do it the once or twice and for EVERYONE'S SAKE make sure you take condoms with you and be extra careful.
Go on a date, have a great time, be up front that you do not want a relationship at the moment, then go back to his house.
Make sure you have plenty of cash on you for a taxi in the morning and you can either be gone when he wakes up (leave a note saying thanks for extra romance) or you can have breakfast and leave in your own time depending on how well the date went.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, Straight Up1  +, writes (1 September 2008):
 well you wouldnt be alone in the one night stand arena!! hahaa!!if you respect sex, monogamy, relationships and the values of marriage then having a rebound or one nighter will make you hate yorself even more and when you do meet someone great...the question always comes up...and if you tell him....he will always wonder...and if you don't.... your lie will bother you forever.so don't mask your hurt with potentially more hurt down the road.On the other hand...if you are a free sexual creature and the allure of a passionate romp in the sack excites you....who am I to judge!!?? Hahaaa!! Enoy!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not looking for a new relationship, just maybe a one or two night stand (I've never had one :o) just to ease the pain a bit right now...
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (1 September 2008):
i think you need to use this time to heal.Take a break from men and relationships to focus on yourself. it's okay to be alone and figure things out.A rebound sounds good because that love high gets you over your ex, but the problem is what happens from there?you know that he or she isn't the one so why waste your time and emotions. Relationship is about giving..not taking and you are currently too heartbroken to give anything to anyone. So I say heal, take a break and find out who you are again. best of luck
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