A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am 49 years old and single. I feel like there is not much hope for me in finding a guy who would be interested in me. I think age is against me, and the fact that it is harder and harder to stay in shape. I'm not that heavy--but definitely not model thin!! I'm about 5'8" (and wear a size 14--ugh!!). I walk every day and try to be careful what I eat--but can't seem to take weight off. I know that most men are shallow (at least to begin with) and I don't think any even give me a second look anymore.I saw a man I used to work with last fall and he started emailing me--then in April or May he said he would like to see me sometime and have lunch with me this summer. Well, the summer is almost over now so I emailed him almost 3 weeks ago (just casually, and asked if he was still interested in having lunch). He has not even replied. He seemed so interested a few months ago--I don't know what to think. I won't email him again since he never responded. Do you think maybe his situation changed since then? And do you think there are men who would not be instantly turned off because I'm not young and thin? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, boo22  +, writes (31 July 2009):
 Every pan has a lid. I have male friends who love curvy girls,and find skinny women a real turn off. If you feel your too heavy then do something about it. FOR YOU and not to attract some guy. You do come across as a bit needy and guys really sense that. That guy you're talking about has probably met someone else. Thats ok cos he's not right for you. You'll meet someone i guarantee it. Don't settle for the first guy that pays you some attention. Everything will work out.
A
male
reader, DLover  +, writes (30 July 2009):
Men look at looks probably just as much as women look at money and looks... but of course, not all women only look after money and looks, and not all men look only after looks (and you probably don't want those anyways).
Being smart, confident, having a nice smile and bright look in your eyes are qualities I look for in a woman, I'm certain other men do the same !
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A
female
reader, LIERIN +, writes (30 July 2009):
 To tell you the truth ... I am young,pretty and good body ... and I HAVE THE SAME EXACT PROBLEM .... i dont think it matters if you are older or slimmer or chubbier. Men like different women . as women like different men ... I just have a feeling , that world turned around sooo much .. and its so hard to find someone that will be interested in ONLY you, wants to be in a commited relationship (marriage) and wont go after every other girl that just passes by ... I live in NY ... and its probably the worst city to be when you are single and you want to meet someone ... I wish you luck and please dont think of yourself as and old fat lady .. because you are not ... and besides .. who wants that bony model girl at home ???? GOOD LUCK
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009): ...erratum: 'inherently', rather!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009): Good question! I think that men who date women purely for their looks are in big trouble if they start to let themselves go since they do not have a personality to fall back on. My woman (that's right - she belongs to me!) has certainly put a fair bit of weight on since giving birth (twice). She compounds this by getting drunk a few nights per week and does not take care of her appearance. I have the odd drink once a week. I've certainly had big crushes on women in the past. They all had one thing in common - they were confident and had great bodies (that's two things in common then!). Anyway, just to end this mindless, shallow and ignorant passage of mine, the simple fact is that 'No attractive man has ever had a crush on a fat bird'. But let's be honest - most women judge a man by the company he keeps. If he's hooked himself a real belter then by jove he is hot-property and a real catch himself. However, if the bird on his arm is a fat slapper then basically the other female onlookers will deem him to be inherrently unattractive and not worth their attention. Confidence is the key, but then confidence only comes from being blessed in those attributes which society has decreed that confidence should originate from. Basically, knowing who you are and where you are going in life (having a five year plan) gives you confidence. If you have social skills and look after yourself physically (look and feel good inside and out) and intellectually then you are likely to be given jobs with good salaries increasing your attractiveness and the likelihood of scoring with the cream of the crop. I haven't actually read your question by the way...perhaps I will now. Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009): I'm 60, so from my perspective you're young, much too young, and I'm probably much too old from your perspective. Age is a relative sort of thing, don't you agree? Size 14 isn't huge and many more men like a bit of meat on a woman than those who prefer a skeletal one.
Basically there's someone for everyone and it takes all sorts to make up the human race, so of course there are men that wouldn't be turned off by your age and size. Me for a start!
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