A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a 30y old woman, and I have been single for quite a long time now.I have a very stressful job, and I work long hours and earn a good living. I also have a tight-knit group of friends, who I see regularly. I am slightly overweight (uk size 14), but quite attractive and well groomed. Overall, I am considered to be quite the catch. I had a couple of bad relationships and have steered clear of men for some time and focused on my career. I am happy with my life, but I am starting to worry about the future, as I am starting to feel ready to settle down. Most people around me are getting married and starting their families. I am scared of never meeting anyone, as there are few occasions: I have limited free time, and I tend to spend it with my friends. I would like to meet someone with a similar background and lifestyle, but they seem to be few and far-between, and used to having girls throwing themselves at them. I look around and few women in my line of work who are further in their career have a partner and a family. Are my expectations unrealistic? Have I left it too late? Any tips on how to meet men and make my availability clear without seeming desperate (which I do not feel I am, by the way)Many thanks!
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (24 January 2011):
 No, there's plenty of time but you have to change the pattern you're in if you want to meet someone. For one thing, men hate approaching a woman when she's out with a gaggle of gals. You're better off to pick just one girlfriend when you want to go for a drink or have dinner out. Make sure she's married or at least, not more beautiful than you (I know, it's silly but you don't want him going for her do you?)...The other thing you need to do is widen your path. Visit a musem; an art gallery opening; and go alone. Lots of women bump into interesting men doing things they enjoy. You may even want to consider joining a singles website to find and meet guys in your area, or tell your single friends who are dating someone, to hook you up with their b/f's best guy pal or brother, or whatever is acceptable. Letting people know you're looking is sometimes the first step that women have trouble admitting. I wish you the best.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): I would make a little more time for socializing and join some activity clubs that you enjoy. This can be a great way to meet someone. I don't think clubbing is a way to meet a partner, people are mostly looking for something casual there.
You might also want to ask your friends and family if they know anyone who would be good for you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2011): You say you have limited time, and if that is really the case then you need to ease back on other things and make time. All work and no play doesn't really make for a happy person.
Have you left it too late? A resounding NO! to that. You're in the prime of life, and to be honest, I wish an awful lot more people were your age before settling down - there would be many fewer divorces in the world!
So what to do? Maybe go out clubbing with a couple of your mates on a regular basis if you're into that sort of thing, or join an amateur dramatics group or sub-aqua club if you're not. Your future is in your hands, nobody else's. Change your routine; do something different with your spare time.
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