A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, have you any tips on how to boost your confidence? I have always had low self esteem and i am very shy and often complain that i have no social life.But in the past few weeks, i have refused to go out with my friends around 5 times. I say i will go, but then i let them down. I don't have a large group of friends, and never needed to. But these friends have other friends, some of whom i would meet if i went out when invited. But as i say, i get ready to go, then don't. It is my friends birthday on Sunday so tomorrow night she asked if i would go for a meal, then make our way in town. I said i'd go for the meal, but couldnt go to town because i have work the next day and its an early start, so she left it at that and then cos she knows me so well, she said 'but i bet you don't come for the meal either.'And just this evening, another friend asked me to go and watch her friends husband in theatre and that there would be drinks after the show. I was very tempted, but in the end i said no.So how can i change my ways. I have never felt comfortable going out friday and saturdays nights, i prefer listening to music and reading a good novel, i don't drink that much, and the only time i like going to pubs is when i am not at home, but at the families holiday home in another county.How can i stop letting my friends down. I've probably missed three birthday parties in the past few months.In a while my friends aren't going to ask me to go anywhere and then i won't have any friends at all.Hope you can help me outThanks xx
View related questions:
confidence, friend's husband, self esteem, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2008): Hi
If you can not do it for You TRY to do it for them,is that not what freindships are about sometimes? think out of yourself. Good luck and enjoy yourself
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2008): I think you need to discover another way of socializing, since going to pubs and clubs is not your thing. It is perfectly ok, do not feel bad about it.
What you must do is to innitiate some social activity with your friends in ways that make you feel comfortable. So you prefer a night in listening to music? Invite your friends over and cook them some dinner and play board games... Or suggest going to the movies in a group.
Obviously, when important things happen like birthdays, you have to make the odd sacrifice. If they invite you out, force yourself to attend, even if only for one drink. They would really appreciate the fact that you have made an effort. Friendship is all about giving and taking... Attend their things,and they will attend yours!
...............................
|
