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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Heyokay this is a complicated one, there's this guy at work and we are really close friends outside of work. We have a really good relationship both in and out of work and we tell each other a hell of alot of stuff.Basically he phones me for a chat sometimes before work and always after work, and we chat when we can during the day.Anyway we've spoken about our friendship before, and he said he's really glad that we are really close friends and its just awkward that we have to work together and that he's my boss.I've recently gone through a really bad break up with my bf and he was the only one who was there for me, i was literally crying down the fone and stuff and he tried his hardest to make me feel better.We've always been quite flirty, okay very flirty at work, just messing around and stuff and now sometimes i think he's being serious.the other day i went to give him my report and i said (jokingly) okay want to know why we should now have sex?(and before i could explain the good report) he goes, because you're beautiful and have an amazing personality?I'm really quite attracted to him but the thing is he's married for starters (don't worry im not the kind of girl that does that to married people) and he's 12 years older than me.So i don't think anything would happen but i can't stop thinking about being with this guy, and the other day in the lift, we were messing around and he accidently called me his wife's name! i ignored it and he was telling someone else at work a funny story that involved me and he did it again!what the hell does this mean?is this a totally no go area, am i just on the rebound??we were texting the other night and i was saying about this guy who wants to get in my pants now he's found out im single, then the guy from work told me i shud be flattered cos he never gets that, and i said that's only because you're off limits. and he was like yeah. right.anywayany thoughts on the situation would be greatly appreciated thanks
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at work, flirt, married man, my boss, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2008): He wants you...which will change your life forever. There will be pain for he and his family once the physical affair is known about (and his family and yours will know...now or later...they always do).What about the pain you are already causing his wifea nd family through your emotional affair with him? Doesn't it bother you that you are both making choices that hurt people. It must be really fun for you to know that when this make makes a civil and/or religious committment (i.e., marriage) that a cute little tail form a woman 12 years younger than him is all it takes to break it. What a great person to screw your life up with. Go for it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question"Which Fish takes the Bait." Ah that makes sense.
yeah im a bit stupid and didnt think of it in that way.
thanks.
=/
i think me thinking this also has alot to do with me breaking up with my bf. hmmmm..
thanks for all your help
xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): Sometimes it isn't who is hotter, but, it is "Which Fish takes the Bait."
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all you're answers they helped me :)
and collaroy, your comment made me chuckle, because i see your point but the thing is there are other girls at work who are FAR FAR hotter than me and are of a similar age, so why isnt he even friends with these people?
if he was in it for a bit of sex with a younger girl then why instead of being mates with me for 6 months, y not go after these hotter girls?
thanks for your comments and please keep them coming!!
:)
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (3 February 2008):
 Hi,
In any office I have worked in the guys get round and talk about the "eye candy", especially the married ones.
Do you really think he would have provided a sympathetic ear if you weighed in at 15 stone plus? No, he sees you as an opportunity for a bit of illicit sex on the side. And don't worry he is not going to all this effort for nothing, there is not man on this earth who will engage in a friendship with a much younger woman purely for frienships sake he will make his move pretty soon.
I dare say you are going to learn the hard way about this guy, keep your options open on the job market as I guarantee you if you sleep together he will look for ways to get you out of the office very quickly after.
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female
reader, shandygirl  +, writes (3 February 2008):
 Honey...There are a lot of dogs out there, who whould love to mess around with a young attactive single female. Don't let a married man use you just for sex. Plus, since you work with him, and after he is through with you, and he goes on to the next 'conquest', you will feel humiliated, hurt, and cheap. And, most likely want to quit your job. OR he may start to blackmail you ( he may say something like, "if you want to keep your job, you will continue to sleep with me") when you decide that you don't want to see him anymore.
This happened to a very close friend of mine. She lost her job.
Leave married men alone. There are plenty of attractive single men out there.
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (3 February 2008):
Flirting is enjoyable but you have to be careful where and when to stop.
It always begin with flirting and then dinners and finally end up on the bed.
It is one thing that leads to another .When the time you realized the danger , you have done it and you don't know why you are there with him ?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2008): i am kind of in the same situation... I have been flirting with my boss and sending and recieving dirty texts and emails.. Its strange when we are in work its completly normal we just act as we did before.. As soon as i get home hes texting me ( he is also married ) He even going to book a hotel room for when his wife goes away for us... The question is.. Wat should we do! Well my plan is to go for it because you only live once. So what hes your boss! He obviously likes you because hes flirting. You need to be frank with him tell him how you feel. If he feels the same why not have a little office affair...
Good Luck x
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male
reader, dapone 1  +, writes (3 February 2008):
 You really do not want to have anything to do with your boss, it would be a grave mistake to make,why some one at your age is not going out and enjoying the single life, i really do not know, if you do get involved with him, then you will become the talk of the whole company, he even makes a joke of you now, so what would happen if you were involved, for your own sake do not do anything foolish with this man, you would be the only looser in this situation, maybe you should stop phoning him on suck a constant basis, go out and find some who would like you for you and not treat you like a joke.
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male
reader, kenny +, writes (3 February 2008):
 Personally i think that the only relationship that you should have with this guy should be strictly work based. What is harmless flirting now, over time could materialise in to an affair, and an affair in which people get hurt. I also do think you are on the rebound as you have recently had a breakup with your boyfriend. Yes i do think this is a no-go area, he should by all accounts not be reciprocating the flirting and returing sexual inuendo's as he is your boss, and more importantly he is married. As i said i would terminate the flirtatious gestures and keep things proffessional, that way there is no chance of anything materialising into more than what they should be.
Good luck x
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female
reader, sunnygirl2 +, writes (3 February 2008):
Dangerous waters!!! I know what its like to be attracted to a man 14 years older. I worked with him and he was my boss. He was married also. I did the stupid thing and slept with him. All I can tell you is it cost me my dignity and my job in the end. He did not leave his wife. He used me for sex. I thought I could have sex with him and things would not change. They did. Maybe because I am a woman and as a woman the emotions got linked to the act. His emotions did not. To him it was just an act. Also, the worst thing you can do is do anything after a breakup. It spells REBOUND! Bottom line is....there is also an innocent party here...his wife. You dont want this coming full circle one day and have some man you are in love with and married to cheat with his co-worker who is 12 years younger than you. I believe what goes around comes around. Dont you deserve a guy who is unattached, kind, loving, generous, faithful and crazy about you??? Dont sell yourself short! Play the movie forward!!! Play it in your head. That's what I do now and it keeps me out of trouble. See yourself sleeping with him, see what the next day at work is like, see him backing off eventually because he is married and then see yourself crushed once again by some self-centered jerk!
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