A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I don't know what to do am trying so hard to make it up to my boyfriend (i didn't cheat or out) and things are bad right now we said we would give it another go but he been funny with me and is pulling away i think he is doing it to show me what it feels like and am feeling lost and confused i just wish he would reply to my texts. i don't know how he feels about me anymore can anyone please give me any ideas on how to win him over again i will do anything to amke it right i don't know if i should ring him and tell him or what
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2007): I don't agree. Just because he is pulling away doesn't mean he is automatically cheating or has someone else. Please don't think that. It could just as much mean that he has just realized that maybe his feelings for you are not what they used to be, or that maybe you two don't match anymore. If you feel like this is untrue or that you still do have a chance with one another, then you definitely need to talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel and ask him how he feels. There is no easy way to win someone over again once you have had a break. The only way that I believe it can continue is if both people have agreed that they want to continue and take active part in making it happen. If it's only you who wants to commit to this relationship, then it isn't going to work. The only way to find out for sure is to talk to him. Good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2007): I think in most cases of a relationship going bad, another person is involved. He is maybe pulling away as someone else is putting doubt in him. Don't automatically think he is cheating though it may just be thoughts.
My advice is move very fast. Think out what you are going to say and what you really need him to say, phone him up and be quite direct. The more you try to avoid this the further apart you will get until you realise it is too late.
Communication is the only way for relationships to survive.
It is very hard to win someone over as you can't recreate the environments you first met someone and have had your best times. Also in new relationship you never act like your true self in the initial period anyway. Really think of what he is interested in and things you wouldn't mind doing yourself.
Make up flexible timetable of things to do over a three week period. Eg. Mon - Cook a nice dinner and go bowling watch a DVD, Tues - order takeaway and then go go karting/ cinema. Wed, Thurs - nights off, see your friends. Friday -go to pub and get really drunk. Sat - go to a club or see a live band.
At the same time have a good friend on call so that if he calls off you can still go through with your plans.
If he calls off a lot and it doesn't feel like he is making an effort I would say he is probably seeing someone else.
Good luck
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