A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for 5months now!! We have a fun and fufilling relationship and sex life, but i have a problem understanding his obsession with porn.We have watched it together, which i dont mind, but recently alot of the time i catch him looking at women and porn sites all the time!! I also know that he will masturbate when he thinks i am downstairs busy??? I dont mind masturbation but am feeling a little upset that he would rather take himself off instead of asking me to help!!! It makes me feel a little ugly and pushed away!!! I understand boys will be boys i just am finding it very hard on my confidence etc and makes me think loads of different questions about myself and wonder why??? Do you think im looking to much in to it??? I love him to bits and other than this our relationship is fantastic any advice???
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xx Stacy lou xx  +, writes (5 November 2009):
Hiya sweetie, ive had this before with a couple of boyfriends in the past, i understand how it can make you feel sometimes. The truth is really its nothing to worry about, young guys have very high sex drives, alot of the time they just want a quick fix, men in general are more physical than emotional so porn is just used to stimulate them. It has nothing to do with the emotional connection of making love that the two of you share togther. A good idea which works wonders!!! is ocasionally give him a blow job to give him a fix and dont ask fo anything in return, it will make him more relaxed and more atentive towards you afterwards.Hes also more likely to pay you extra attention later on at bed time, when it really counts, because youve given him that fix he'l be more appreciative and remember what you did for him, Like the above poster said if you dont let him know its readily avalible or everytime is a drwn out endevour when hes feeling horny hes more likey to jerk off to porn because its quicker and easier than makeing love all the time, theres nothing wrong and nothing to wrorry about hunny youl be fine. xx
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (10 May 2009):
 Boys will be boys does not excuse everything.
For instance, it does not excuse ignoring you for the sake of masturbation especially when you are ready and willing to turn it into a teamsport.
One possibilty is that he may not know you are available. Lets face it, how often are guys told they only think of sex. Does he know he can ask you more often then he does now. Does he now it does not always mean a long seduction routine but that he can simply suggest you two do something if he is in the mood. That you are horny too?
One adjustment I have had to make myself in the past is the difference between being a single dating guy and a guy living together. That sex is far more available and that jerking off is no longer something you need to do to tide you over till the next date. That she in fact wants sex as often as you do and resents being left out as it were.
In short, does he know what you are thinking. He ain't a mind reader.
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