A
female
age
30-35,
*imply.megan
writes:My fiance and I were having an all out truth be told sexual history with eachother last night.Questions such as where's the weirdest place you've done it, with who and what did u 2 do and etc.(he has only had sex with 4 ppl incuding me). Talking about sex makes me want it and he knows that, lol. So the convo was not forced.Well come my turn to ask a few I asked who his best was with a bj and it was emily. Then who was the tightest, emily. Sexiest body, emily. Boob and butt prefrence..emily. Kinkiest was half between me and emily.( And that's only because of lately.. I'm pregnant and having this sex kick)Well I've seen this girl, I don't know her but we live in the same town so I know of her. And yea, she's hot and looks like the firecracker type.. but anyways.. Now I find myself depressed and upset that she was better at so many things then me.I thought it would be fun to open this up and let eachother in and such on this subject, and I didn't think I'd get mad.I'm ok with her being his allout best, and so that makes me more detirmined to outdo her..plus he comes home to me every night and we are great relationship wise. But then he suggested something that upset me beyond beliefe. We have talked about having a 3sum b4 we get married instead of the typical seperate parties.. This has already been discused and is still not 4 sure if its guna happen anyways. Anywho, he suggested that EMILY be the other girl in a 3sum.In the talk about the 3sum we agreed that it be a onenight stand sex only stranger type doing.. Not a friend or someone close by. And he seriously brings her up with this excited look in his eye.I think having this conversation made him think of how good she was and he wants her again...wtf was I thinking?! I thought this would just be another open convo but I think this convo might have made him think about her a little too much. Now I'm hurt, upset and getting scared. The 3sum isn't guna happen with her..but will he go after his craving? Or think of her while doing me and be more aroused by doing so or even be dissapointed cuz I'm not as good...? Or am I just over reacting?!Either way I don't want to be upset and wondering these 20questions and putting myself down in reasons of his ex... How can I help myself know for sure? Or at least not be so depressed or selfblameing and downing myself???Any logical suggestions appreciated!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2009): Megan, it may seem like this Emily was everything to him. but if she really was they he would be with her and not you. yes, she may have been a great f*ck, but whatelse was there? thi thing about the 3some is very worrying indeed. you are pregnant, so i assuming that this 3some would take place after the baby was born? when you give birth it may take you some time to get rid of the baby weight, right? then what. a 3some before your wedding? the moment you bring in a 3rd party into your relationship that is when the real problems will start. whether it is with Em or not doesn't matter. if you want to spice things up try some toys instead. Coming back to Em, your bf sounds like an overeager schoolboy almost ready to cum in his pants at the mention of her. You opened up a can of worms, but it is too late now. Why are you both contemplating marriage when he is still lusting after this woman? this relationship is not as stable as you may think. And while he has all these sexual feelings for Em the marriage is not the way forward. I think this woman is not out of his system yet. Why did they break up? How long have you two been together?If Em becomes any part of his life again, you two are over. You do realise this don't you. So no 3somes (with anyone) and certainly not with Em. You need to think seriously about solidifying your relationship before the marriage talks continue. You also need to talk to him about how you are feeling, your uncertainties and also you feeling a tad bit insecure over his preference.I think you also need to know that having a baby in an unstable relationship may cause more hassels later on. Stop the 20 questions and start concentrating on this "partnership", it is indeed one.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2009): It's weird to me that he seems to prefer Emily in every way if he's marrying you... makes me wonder why they ever broke up in the first place. I've slept with 5 different girls and I can say without any insincerity that my wife is the sexiest, best lover I have ever had. Otherwise I'd never stick around. Don't get me wrong, she's amazing in every way I could ask for, but I couldn't imagine being in a lifelong relationship with someone who didn't drive me absolutely wild in bed. None of the others hold a candle to her. It's part of our amazing relationship, part of the reason we get along so well and have such chemistry. We've been together for over 6 years and I still fantasize about her nonstop all day, her body, her moves, I'm getting a bit worked up just thinking of her to be honest. Maybe I'm just exceptionally lucky, but if I were you I'd be questioning whether I wanted to spend my whole life being second best in a relationship with a man who is craving someone else? You can't change his point of view, he's never going to stop wanting "emily"... You can try and compete, but that sounds sort of degrading to me. I dunno... it doesn't sound good to me. I know that whenever I was with girls that weren't "amazing" I wasn't happy in the relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2009): My question is why are you thinking of getting married to a man who wants to have a threesome in your marriage....this will cause exactly the problems you are now experiencing whether it be Emily or not.
My advice to you is put off the wedding and do some growing up before you commit to a life with a juvenile man, oh wait, you are pregnant....still put if off until you get this straightened out with him. It is much more painful to go through a divorce than sit down and ask all of the important questions before you get married.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2009): Wow, sounds like you're in a tough spot. I am dating a girl who I'm in love with. She brought up her sexual history (without me asking). Now I can't get the thoughts out of my head. Try the following link...it has helped me tremendously.
http://www.andtheylivedhappilyeverafter.com/85.htm
I don't really understand why you all wanted to know so much about each other's sexual past. I mean, maybe some information like # of partners is understandable. But, quality...that's a subject that would hurt me really deep down inside because I love this girl and it pains me to think of her with anyone else...especially if they weren't actual relationships but rather flings. Anyways, if that's what floats your boat then so be it. But, you should read the article.
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