A
female
age
41-50,
*lle Belle
writes:I am an “out bisexual woman” but men often mistake me as lesbian. I have a gal-friend (who’s just a friend) that I’m emotionally close to, so much so that we often hug and kiss on the cheek. She recently hooked up with a hot great guy that I know well from our social circle. They’re not yet an exclusive item- just dating- and when hanging out, I’m sometimes invited along- and now the hugs come from him too. While I’m bi, I never thought of hooking up with him but now that I see him with her, I’m like, wow! I can’t stop fantasizing over how great our three way friendship could be if it included a three some love night. If only they knew of my fantasies…… How do I be both forward and a good friend to move us past this awkward stage to the real thing? PS In registering for this site, I had to answer a human vs. spybot question of what color grass is. Here in Kentucky, grass is blue- not your required answer of green!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (15 October 2013):
 It doesn't matter how hot you think it might be... this just isn't your decision to make. If a couple wishes to open their relationship to include an additional partner or partners, it is up to that couple to decide (hopefully together and without either party feeling pressured into it) that a third party is right for them and their relationship. Many previously "healthy" relationships do not survive threesomes even under the best of circumstances, because the fantasized threesome and the reality that materializes in its place are very rarely the same thing. Feelings get hurt or they develop where they shouldn't.If you simply must approach your friend about this, I caution you that the odds are astronomically against both she and her partner finding it a good and appealing idea (and you would need enthusiasm from both to make this happen.) A much more likely scenario is one where your friend reacts with jealousy or finds it too awkward to continue the friendship thereafter. Make sure you're prepared for that possibility if you broach the subject with her.Best wishes.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (14 October 2013):
 You don't. It's that simple.
Part of the reason you are such good friends is you haven't clouded things with sex. Your friend knows you're bisexual but she trusts you and thinks that unlike with her guy friends she doesn't have to worry about you trying to get into her pants.
She and this great guy have only recently gotten together so their courtship is not yet strong and stable enough to comfortably handle this kind of challenge. Your intentions could very easily be misinterpreted by either one of them.
What would you think if the shoe were on the other foot? Say you hadn't had this threesome fantasy and this new great guy of hers were trying to entice you into their bed? What would you think of him? What do you think your friend would think of him? What do you think your circle of friends would think were they to find out? Do you believe being a woman gives you a free pass to do the same?
If a man is a pig for saying or doing something, then a woman is just as much a pig for saying or doing the same thing.
Wanting something doesn't mean you have to have it. Enjoy the fantasy on your own time knowing it will eventually fade and be secure in the knowledge that your valuable friendships remain intact. Don't betray your friend's trust for something so fleeting.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 October 2013):
 YOU don't approach them. This is a huge (and often disastrous) decision for a COUPLE... not the unicorn.
being a single young woman that "invades" a relationship would make you their unicorn. I have been the wife/partner and I have also been a unicorn in the past.
I come from a now defunct open marriage. Being swingers is what destroyed the marriage. I am bisexual. I have RARELY seen 3-somes work out.
AND I can assure you that fantasies are way hotter than reality in 98% of the cases.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 October 2013):
 Fantasies are lovely. And they are for the most part private. Last but not least there is a HUGE difference between fantasy and reality.
If you put it out that that you have this fantasy involving a 3-some with those two it might open a can of drama instead of something "hot". It might be your "gal-pal" will start to be miffed at you for digging on the guy SHE is seeing & avoid you.
If you look around (even on this site) you will find SO many post from people regretting a 3-some because it ruined a relationship or friendship.
But if you are dead-set on at least suggesting it - I would put feelers out with her when you talk about what she thinks of 3-somes.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (14 October 2013):
 Hummm I drive through Old Kentuck on my way to St. Louis to visit the grand kids about two times a year. Grass looks green to me.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (14 October 2013):
 Anything involving emotion in a threesome is not advised. Many issues can potentially arise including jealousy.
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