A
female
age
36-40,
*razylady
writes:Ok so I was out to dinner with my husband 31 and I'm 23, we were with his best friend and girl friend of that bestfriend. we were about to make an order and my husband goes "umm do you have meat here?" He was asking for somthing specific but I'm like "duh honey of course they do, it wouldint be on the menu if it wasint silly"...I didn't mean it or say it in a mean way, I was being more sarcastic and trying to be funny and laughed about it.Well he was so upset, he's like "never again will you disrespect me in front of other people! I dumped many women because of that!" I was shocked, so I'm like I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that , and then I'm like " well two wrongs don't make it right ( because he yelled at me in front of his friend, embarassing me) So he was being spitetfull I thought. And honestly I think be was so rude for even saying that sory of thing. I'm his wife! I wanted to throw my ring in his face! But instead it ruined my night n I ignored him, and he pretended that he didn't think I was mad.Does anyone know why he snapped or really why did he have to snap back and say such a harsh thing? Am I wrong for being upset?
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female
reader, crazylady +, writes (5 December 2011):
crazylady is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes I can understand how that could come off rude, guess I assumed he got my humor, though it wasn't funny,and yes he should of pulled me to the side and said somthing, not yell at me and make a low comment like that, I'm not just some girl! He jokes around with me all the time like that so I didn't realize my comment would embarrass him as well, thanx for the advice
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2011): l think he did not find your joke amusing and l also dont. men dont like being embarassed infront of people that are close to them, he has to be seen as the man. had you been alone l can bet he would not have reacted the way he did. try and think of how you would have felt had he made a joke at your expence????? the fact that you are his wife doesnot give you the right to hurt his feelings. next time mind the place you in and the company you have.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2011): He could have snapped because he was in a bad mood or something OP but there is no way in hell you should have let him speak to you in that way and you should not have apoligized to him for a pretty funny joke.
OP he's your husband it's kind of strange that you are here asking us why he would say or do something like that, how long have you been together?
He owes you an apology OP and you seriously have to woman up to this guy and make it very to clear to him that speaking to you like you're a cheap whore is not acceptable to you and making vague threats of dumping you is low and shitty too.
Nip this in the bud right now OP. He better make this up to you or you have serious trouble ahead.
Never ever apologise to a person that speaks to you like that, never accept it, never allow it and certainly never be unsure of yourself. You were being sarcastic and you're his wife he should know your humour and know you were joking.
No offence OP but he acted like a spoilt little child.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2011): I think he snapped at you because he was embarrassed in front of his friends by the comment you made. It makes him look stupid and generally comments like that make people feel uncomfortable. I realise you didn't mean it in a cruel way, but it is a mean thing to say, even sarcastically. That doesn't excuse how he reacted though, he should have waited until you two were alone and told you that your comment embarrassed him and that he found it to be disrespectful, and he doesn't appreciate you saying things like that. He is your husband so he deserves to expect that you won't say hurtful things to him in front of other's, just as you expect he shouldn't treat you the way he did in public.
You are not wrong for being upset about him yelling at you in public, and he is not wrong for being upset at your comment. I think in this case you both hurt each other's feelings and when you both calm down, you should talk to each other about the incident, apologise for the comment you made and tell him how his reaction made you feel. Take the time to listen to his side also and I am sure that you will work it out.
Your comment was rude too, and he is your husband. You didn't mean it in a nasty way, but it is a mean thing to say, even playfully. Good Luck
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