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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: do you think im out of order to be unhappy and upset over this? well basicly im 16 and i live in the uk, ive just left school and at the moment ive just finished my exams and am looking for a job like most others my age. ive been goin out with my boyfriend aged 18 now for 18 months and my parents dont like him at all! they seem to think hes after one thing and thats all he wants, even though he respectfully waited for me to become legal before he so much as touched me! not literally of course, he spends every second he can with me, if hes not at work, im at his or were out cause were not allowed in my house if hes with me. he buys me flowers just for the sake of it, he invited me out on every single occasion with his friends or his family, he sticks up for me no matter what, i adore him and we are completely in love! since ive left school i have basicly been a full time babysitter for my little sister who is 2, mum and dad work and im ALWAYS lookin after my sister as she has stopped going to nursery. if i want to go out, i have to take her with me, if i want to go out with my friends or whatever, i have to turn them down becase im lookin after my sister, ive started gettin up on a mornin and tidying the whole house! because theres simply nothing else to do, i hoover, polish, wash up, do washing, tidy bedrooms, clean the bathroomm, aswell as looking after my sister and i make a meal every night after everyones finished school an work (cause i have two other siblings) i feel that im havin the piss took out of me! my boyfriend is kind of understanding but its bohering him and he cant say or do anythng and im just fed up! im trying to get a job cause i need the money and also a change of scenery, but i cant get a job cause im practicly both parents in this house cause the real ones are too busy working. i want to spend time with my boyfriend and i cant cause im busy all the time! i cant go out with my friends, one because im busy in the house, two because i dont have a job so ihave no money! my other sister is 13 and shes been with her boyfriend for about 3 months now and he is 17 and my muj thiinks thats fine. hes a good lad! yeah hes awesome, theyre madly in love, theyre this that and the fuckin other, hes allowed to sleep over every weekend and she's allowed ouut with him till 11 o clock every night. yeah i know what its like to have a 'first love' im with mine after a year and a half! yeah i know what its like to want to spend time with them but its rediculous the fact that shes allowed to do all this! she 13 and already sleeping with him, hes 17 and my mum lets them do what they want. mum, dad, sister, brother, sister, me, were suppose to go away three weeks ago, she asked if her boyufriend could come with us and i had to stay at home on ma own so he could go with them, i didnt really mind because i got to have my boyfriend round and stay with me for the week but its the priinciple, its as if theyre not my family anymore and i feel im not meant to be here! its really stressing me out because i dont know whether im coming or going with the family! one minute theyre telling me i should act my age and stop doing the house and lookin after the kids, cookin, cleanin and basicly being the mother and the next minute theyre telling me to help more in the house! im looking it and i seriously cannot cope anymore!! my boyfriends asked me to move into his flat with him which im seriously thinkin of doing but they wouldnt cope without me (i know that sounds big headed but its true) and i would seriously miss my sister (2 year old) cause ive practically brought her up, i just feel like i dont want anything to do with the family at all but then i dont want to be without them! i just wish they would accept me and my boyfriend but i also wish they understood how i felt! mum tells me that i always look down in the dumps. she asks me whats up and i feel like blurting out my life story to her n telling her exactly whats up but i just keep it all in!! i got so fed up with it last friday that i just walked out of the house after a small arguement with the parents and i stayed out for two nights, they had no idea were i was and i doubt they even cared. am i stupid to feel like this?! sorry about the extremely long post and sorry about the irrelivent question i just really really need someone to listen and not tell me to grow up or anything! thankyou for reading, any answers are welcome xx3
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at work, flowers, her ex, money, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, andre6589  +, writes (28 June 2008):
you have every right to feel the way you do.. the only thing i can suggst is to talk to your parents about how you feel. you may think that they dont care but there's gotta be some small bit of care in their hearts.
and also a pat on the back to you for being the rock in your house. i admire you.
A
female
reader, Fiona xxx  +, writes (25 June 2008):
 Hi I really feel for you.
It doesn't sound like you need to grow up at all. The opposite in fact.
Perhaps your family just see you as being good enough to help out while you are waiting for a job or a college course?
You are very good to be helping like that, believe me most don't!!
Just try and reach a compromise about all this. After all, the 2 year old is your sibling, not your child.
Good luck, and tell us how you get on.
You are in a transition period in many ways, about to embark on a new routine, I am sure all this will have to change soon when you get your job. Don't blame you for wanting to make the best of your time.
Fiona x
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (25 June 2008):
 Oh huni im so sorry you feel like this and your parents are treating you like this, its extremly unfair that you younger sister can have a boyfriend round and you cant, what i think you need to do is show them the post you have made and let them read and see how upset and hurt you are and how much responsibility you have and that you are treated diffrently even though you have more responsibility you are not alllowed the same freedom it just seems to unfair.
So lets change things i know how hard it is to find a job so what i suggest is join an agency (yeah i know it will be boring but better then nothing) they get you work almost immediatly and the pay is great, get your younger sister into nursery so she cn get some socialising and you can get some freedom. Make a chore roture when you have a job making sure everyone has an equal share in houework. Go out with your parents and boyfriend so they can get to know him.
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