A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm wondering if I'm to blame for the loss of my friends. I'm in my thirties and I'm feeling kind of friendless after my recent break up. I know I neglected the few friends I had when I went into my last relationship. I'm trying to talk to them again but its not the same. The other friends I made at college either live at distant cities or are married with kids and have their separate lives. I'm unhappily unemployed right now so I believe my life is not very appealing to anybody. Anyway, I was wondering if I'm to blame for being almost friendless at my age or is it something that other people experiment in adulthood. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, katatonik +, writes (6 December 2008):
 The friends you put on the back burner, so to speak, during your last relationship probably recognized that they were on the back burner and didn't really appreciate it. It's hard to put much serious effort into cultivating a friendship with someone you know will just drop you like a hot potato the minute they have another guy (or girl). Like it or not, mending things with the people you have implied are "second best" is not going to be easy.
It sounds as if your unemployed status is a significant source of your unhappiness at this point. I would start there if I were you. Throw your energy into finding a job and the rest will follow a little more easily. It sounds as if having a job would improve your outlook on life, and that will make you more attractive to potential friends. Starting a new job in a new workplace will also expose you to many new people and you are bound to hit it off with at least a couple of them. Good luck =]
A
female
reader, Asked Angel  +, writes (6 December 2008):
 I think alot of people feel this way in adulthood. I don't think it's your fault you feel like you have lost your friends, this will hopefully help you to remember to make the effort.
It's hard as we get older we have lives/jobs of our own and we forget to keep in touch.
Are you looking for work?
This may help you to make some new friends. Keep making the effort with your friends inviting them to do things with you and i am sure they will come round.
If not try to make new friends with neighbours or spend more time with family until you find new employment and there will be a whole wealth of people to be friends with.
Good luck.
xxx
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