A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:It seems everyone is happily in love - except me.I turned this guy down who wanted to meet up with me for sex. I did like him, but I'm quite shy when it comes to men and haven't had many partners apart from one or two. Anyway, since I turned the guy down - he seems to have quickly found another willing partner and appears to be having a great time with her with dirty weekends away etc..I feel sad now - because I had my chance and I know he's not interested in me anymore since he's found her, although I know their relationship is rocky at times too.I'm not really looking for a relationship as I like the freedom of being single - but at the same time feel sad as everyone else seems to be happily in love except me.So - I want to know will their happiness last or am I the only unhappy one in love?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2015): Thanks for the response OP. But you still don't realise that you have conflicting ideas of what you want.
You've had 2 flings and declined the opportunity for another fling with the third guy who offered you sex. Then you get jealous of others in relationships. But you don't date nor do you make an effort to meet men.
So I ask again, what do you want?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2015): I am also of the opinion that YOU don't know what you want. so ain't really his fault.
You said you do NOT want:
- to be in a relationship
- to have casual sex with him
You "love":
- freedom (of being single)
-BUT also you love to be in love (aka a relationship) and are jealous of people who have it
My reaction: WTF?
You sound confused and like you don't clearly know what you want.
Don't bother with others. Sort yourself out first.
ps: also "seeming" happy is not the same as being happy...Food for thought.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2015): Thanks for your answers guys. I'm the OP & to the female anon - there isn't much to say about my past relationships as they were more flings than relationships - as for where I meet potential guys - I don't go out my way to meet them at all - as I don't date. They are just men who have happened to be in my life, along the way, but now I have missed a chance I am unhappy. That's why I wonder where he is & what he is doing.
But maybe as Sageoldguy says - perhaps I have dodged a bullet after all!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (5 August 2015):
 When you wrote: "... because I had my chance and I know he's not interested in me anymore since he's found her, ...." .... Suppose, instead, that you had written: "... because I had my chance and I know he's not interested in me, FOR SEX, ONLY, anymore since he's found her,....."
Wouldn't it be nice to realize that you dodged an unpleasant bullet... and this guy is no "keeper"??????
It's better to live unhappily than it is to live without your soul....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2015): I'm confused; you say you are unhappy about not being in love but you claim not to want a relationship at the same time?If you like the freedom of being single then why did you turn down the man who wanted to meet up for sex?Will others' happiness last? I hope so! To hope otherwise would be rather unkind and what would you gain if everyone else was miserable? Nothing.The real question is what do you want? Do you want a relationship? I suspect the answer to that is yes since you wouldn't be posting your question if you were happy being single and 'free'. If you do want a relationship then good riddance to the guy who asked you for sex. You wouldn't have been satisfied with what he had to offer. Stop keeping tabs on him and be happy you made the right choice for you. It doesn't matter who he's doing and where he is doing her. If you wanted that arrangement you probably would have slept with more than 2 men and you probably wouldn't describe yourself as being shy in bed. It's ok that he's with someone else. You haven't missed out since he was never right for you.If you do want a relationship then give us a bit more of your past relationships and how you meet potential suitors and we'll help you from there.I would like to help so I hope you clarify what exactly it is you are unhappy with and what you want.Good luck
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (5 August 2015):
 The happiness of your friends who are in relationships will probably last for some of them but not others.
I don't really understand what you're looking for. You seem to want the happiness of a relationship without being in a relationship. I think when you find someone you really love who loves you too, you won't feel trapped by the relationship.
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