A
female
age
30-35,
*eXylOvE12
writes:A few weeks ago i was having serious doubts about my boyfriend. He's a great guy, but i guess you could say he's not "everything i want." I decided to stick with him because i do love him. Now my feelings are pretty much back to normal, but i can't help wondering sometimes if he's the right guy. Lately, i've been freaking out on him for reasons that should be solved by simple discussions. I keep wondering if i've been ridiculously over-dramatic, or am i subconsciously pushing him away?? I don't know what to think. Help!! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010): Hey,
I don't know about you, but I don't think I've ever met anyone who is everything I want. The more you see the bad stuff, the more and more problems it will create for you. Don't get me wrong, if there is something that is seriously problematic then, yeah, you've got to have a good think about it, but you say that you love him, so he's obviously done quite a bit right! Yes, you probably are trying to push him away at the moment - consciously or subconsciously. But I think it's pretty abnormal for couples to never have doubts about each other. If you think about the things you have in common or times that you enjoy, and try to build on them, you might find that you stop freaking out and, given a few weeks, you may wonder what you were worrying about. Give it a bit of time.
A
male
reader, Dannytreehorn  +, writes (16 July 2010):
Hi
This is the exact situation I find myself in with my girlfriend. What you need to ask yourself is why you are having doubts about your relationship. Is it something he did, was there a situation or problem that sparked it? Or have you just started thinking about it for no apparent reason? Either way, if you are having doubts there is obviously a rationale for them. You may still love him but you have to ask yourself in what way. Are you IN love with him, or do you just love him, but more as a friend. I think that when you fall in love with someone we have to make the effort to sort of enforce it, in my experience you fall in love and think that you're going to live happily ever after when you're really riding the wave of your honeymoon period. When this wears off you wonder where all the fuzzy feelings went and start to question things.
Hope this helped :) x
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