A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:For the past few months I have been feeling confused, my husband and I seperated about four and a half years ago, and reconciliated about three years ago. The time we were not together I was faithful but he wasn't, it is very hard at times to have the same feeling I had for him before. I did forgave him, it is just I don't seem to love him the same way, I feel like our marriage is not sacred anymore. There is a friend that I have and lately we seem to be making a lot of eye contact, and he seems like he enjoys my company. I don't know what this means, he has not mentioned anything romantic to me but I feel like we are attracted to each other, I feel confused, I do not believe in adultery but I don't understand what the feelings I am feeling are. It seems like everytime my friend and I look at each other I feel so nervous. We are never alone and don't even talk on the phone, we see each other once a week in an activity we share. Am I seeing something that is not there? I don't know how I feel anymore about my husband, it seems as if we are falling apart again, he is a good father and provider but I feel so out of touch with him, it is making me very unhappy. I have talked with him about my feelings but he never says anything back. I need any advise, anyone out there with experience. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2008):
When you speak to him use “I”. Say “I feel, I am worried, I need your help” etc” Not “You never” “Why don’t you”etc.
Have one aim and stick to that. It could be, “I miss doing such and such with you, let’s do it again”. There must be something you did with him once that you remember enjoying. Revisit and see if it makes you reconnect. If he doesn’t want to, see if there is something else you can do together. He has to make an effort as well, you know. The other thing needs to be stopped while you work out if there is anything to save or it will just serve as a distraction.
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