A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend 8 months,we get on very well and see each other alot but he has not told me he loves me yet (I have told him) so am a little insecure (but try not to show it). On Saturday, I met his friends for the first time, people he has known for many years. We all got on very well except that I noticed he and his best friend's wife were a little too close for comfort a couple of times. For example, at one point, at the table in the restaurant, they were both leaning into each other and she was holding his hands and saying how lovely he was. I was sitting bang in the middle of this and trying hard to laugh it off (everyone had had a few drinks), although I did say to him later on that evening that if it never stopped I was going to say something to both of them (I wouldn't have, just said it to make him stop). He apologised and said she was just 'very tactile'.I don't like arguments so said that was ok as long as he didn't encourage her any more. BUT for some reason, I can't stop thinking about it. I am dreading seeing them again in two weeks and I can't stop thinking about whether his behaviour was totally unacceptable. I have to be careful because I've been two times before (twice) and on both occasions everyone knew but me - I just put it down to flirting. Am I being naive - I don't want to bring it up incase he thinks I am going on about it too much, after all I have said my piece, but I can't get it out of my mind. She is, physically, his type too I think. She is small and cute and brunette, whereas I am gangly and tall and blonde - I just feel like I could finish it now rather than feel these pains inside, over something which is probably nothing...any advice would be so gratefully received..xx
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best friend, flirt, friend's wife, insecure, jealous Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMany thanks for your help - it helps to know that I am not being overly insecure, and that feelings are justified. I have spoken to him and told him again how disgusted I was (and used some of the sentences from your answers too!) and I have decided to let it go this time but we are going out with them again next week so I will keep an eye out but end things if it happens again - thanks Aunts xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2009): Well for starters this woman has no manners. I mean I would never be overly 'tactile' with someone else's partner - and especially if his girlfriend was in the room! She was making a point in my opinion - trying to see if he would react the way he'd probably always reacted with her even though you were around. My issue is that your boyfriend has just brushed this off and made an excuse for her. If he cared about you he would have seen clearly that it was inappropriate and hurtful behaviour on BOTH their parts. Drink or no drink this has left you wondering what his feelings are - for you and this other woman. I would make your feelings clear to your man and then get right back in that situation again - friends, pub, this other woman so that you can see if he can possibly act with some respect for you. Ok so its a kind of test but only then will you know - don't put yourself through this as he sounds immature. If he doesn't know what boundaries are when you are in the room I doubt very much he would know them when you are not.
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