A
female
age
30-35,
*icky2727
writes:Ive been really annoyed with my boyfriend lately. We just started dating and our relationship is relatively new but yesterday I asked if he wanted to hang out later on in the day and he said sure do. It was around 6 o clock and i texted him and said.. okay, see you in a few? He then said he was still at the beach and that he had ran into a friend and that he still really wants to see me so i said, ok no worries, just let me know when you get back and he said he would. Well 4 hours pass by and nothing from him... so i decide to text him and i said... hey should we raincheck or something? And he goes... Maybe, i had one drink and now they wont let me drive. After that text I was so irritated and upset because i had been killing time in town just to find out he'd do this. I just went back home and seethed in anger. And to make it worse... he didnt even say sorry. I dont care that he hangs out with his friends but this incident really upset me. I dont like that he gave me a "maybe" and couldnt just say yes or no. He's 34 years old and he could leave after one beer, nobody is holding him back... hes an adult and can make those choices on his own so i really dont buy it. Im 21 and i feel like thats something someone my age would pull. I pay for everything and buy him dinner all the time and even bring it to his house because i like doing these things for him and i feel like im just being taken advantage of now since he cant even give me the common courtesy of saying, hey i think im going to out with my friends. Am i making a mountain out of a mole hill? I was really angry last night.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 June 2012):
 I would not accept a maybe from him again. Next time he pulls a "maybe" on you, say :" no I need a yes or a no." It's not hard. Either he wants to see you or he rather spend time with his friends.
I also agree that you need to stop doing things for him and paying for everything. That is ridiculous. Taking turns paying or going 50/50 I get, but either party paying every time, I don't get.
He might be 34, but he acts 16, you sure you want to date a teenager? And OLD teenager? LOL
I think he is not as interested in a relationship as you are.
Lon't live your life around another person, constantly trying to FIT into his/her life without getting the same treatment back. Find someone who wants to fit in with you as much as you want to fit in with him.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 June 2012):
 SVC covered this well, so I'm just going to add a few relationship tips:
If you have something that makes you angry, get it out. Don't seethe. Don't sit and stew and create more drama in your head. That's pointless and just adds more fuel to the fire, adding details that didn't actually happen.
You tell him, calmly and rationally, why you felt that he hasn't treated you with courtesy in this case. "Bob, we had plans for last night, and I'm unhappy that you treated me this way. You went out with other friends, failed to tell me of your change of plans and caused me to wait in town for you. In the future, I would appreciate it if you would be clear when you change plans involving me and notify me as soon as that happens. I will give you the same courtesy.
"I would like to hear an apology from you.
"Thanks for hearing me out."
And then sit back and let him speak.
You have reason to be upset, but perhaps you are adding too much thinking about it and making it feel worse than it is.
If he's this discourteous and unreliable, is he really good boyfriend material? I don't think so. You're 21, you have plenty of time to find a polite boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 June 2012):
 Stop doing things for him.
Stop texting and asking to get together.
stop rowing the relationship boat and see what happens.
I'm betting the boat will drift along and he'll call when he is hungry or horny....
STOP buying him dinner....
I'm betting dear that he's not as into you as you are into him..
backing off and letting him lead a bit in the relationship should give you the answer you need...
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