A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi thanks for reading. I recently went on pof and have started texting this guy for about s a week, but for past few days it takes him ages to reply. ( like 4 hours) But when he does they are nice messages and I reading too much into it or is he getting bored of me already please help xx
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male
reader, Roboaxe  +, writes (21 January 2015):
 It'a part of the stupid dating game. If he replies too quickly you might see him as "desperate" or "too interested" and lose interest yourself. He does that to you specifically so you are thinking "Why isn't he texting back? Does he like me?"
As long as he keeps texting he is interested don't worry. You should vary your responses too. Take a whole 12 hours to return a text, see him come running to reply.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, HarleyQuinn +, writes (20 January 2015):
 I too met a lovely man on POF! At the moment we are dating and do the whole meeting up, texting, phone calls etc... I wouldn't read anything into this guy taking a while to reply, hey, he replies!!!
Iti might take him 15 minuets, it could be 6 hours, but you are still getting that reply! I may go hours before hearing back from this man, but I don't fret over it; what's the point! Enjoy the what you have and getting to know him, don't let worrying or doubt destroy things before they even had a chance to begin. x
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 January 2015):
 I agree FULLY with WiseOwlE, and maybe because we are BOTH from the generation BEFORE texting, where people ACTUALLY picked up a phone to CALL and TALK. To set up a DATE, to SPEND time with a person whom you are interested IN.
YOU CAN NOT ( I can repeat that a few times if you like) CARRY on a relationship or getting to really KNOW a person over a few lines of blah blah texts. It may FEEL like you are having these lovely DEEP conversations, but you STILL don't know this guy from Adam.
I see my nieces in their 20's TEXTING each OTHER while sitting in the same room, it's RIDICULOUS.
Not replying RIGHT off the bat doesn't mean he is bored. Doesn't mean he isn't interested. IT means that he might actually take his time to think up an answer, might get some WORK done and might actually DO things.
These days, we see so many women on DC who are doing the equivalent of "sitting by the phone" waiting on a man to start living life.
I will also agree that it might be a good idea to find out a little more about this guy. See who he is. And maybe.. ask him if he rather TALK on the phone.
When it comes to dating, I'd say a week or two of talking online, after that find a way to met in person. If you are NOT looking for LDR, cut the guys who live to far away out RIGHT off the bat. But have CONVERSATIONS, SPEAK with them - over the phone can be fine, but DO NOT carry on the "getting to know you" phase over text.
A friend of mine (in her 30's) has been on dating sites the last year or so, she gets SO excited when she "meets" a new guy and they start talking, USUALLY over text. And she gets so upset when it goes no where. I once asked her to take ALL the texts back and forth and put them on a page and the read them out loud, and what she came back with was less them 15 minutes ACTUAL conversation over 5 weeks. No one REALLY knows a person after 15 minutes. I asked her to look at the subjects they talked about, if it told her ANYTHING really about the guy. It was quite an eye opener.
People such as yourself, should TRY and focus on having CONVERSATIONS, not "snippets" of conversations.
Like WiseOwlE also mentioned, not every likes texting, I for one, don't. If I want to TALK to someone, I will call them and hope they have time for me. And my friend all know to call me rather then text. Even hubby. I DO NOT carry around my phone with me. I will hear if it rings, but I don't always pay attention to the "pings" of texts.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2015): May I ask what's the urgency? You can't judge a person's feelings by their "texting-reflexs."
We get some many of these posts, that I've actually asked several young single guys at work, and some at my gym; how they feel about texting from girls they're date, or their girlfriends. All say it's cool with them at the very beginning. It gets like in high school with some females.
They want to text all day.
Know what many of them surprisingly said? They think she's bored with nothing better to do, insecure, or desperate. One guy says he think its a way to track him down all day, and it's begging for attention. He's a nice-guy, not a dick. I wanted honest opinions; because I'm an uncle on this site. They don't know that I am. So I got fairly candid opinions.
Some young men are growing very weary of text messaging the people they date. I am surprised that so many people I know, are now beginning to feel it's annoying and intrusive. I know sometimes insecure or lonely people text excessively, and that makes people less likely to respond. They know if they send one, they'll suffer a blitz of messages to follow. So they just don't reply right-away to discourage the messenger.
Take into consideration his work hours and respect his me-time. Most of all, make sure he isn't married.
Maybe he just doesn't like texting. Ask him.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (19 January 2015):
 When you date online and see someone you really like, always aim to get off the site and exchange email and phone within a week. Some guys are nervous, shy, some are players while the others are time wasters. When you take charge of how you want to connect, you weed out time wasters.
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