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female
age
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*weetcocobear
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 yrs. He was going through a divorce when we met but that was finalized over 2 yrs. ago. The problem that I have is that he is still on his ex wife's cell phone plan so when he calls me, her name shows up. We do not live together - both own our own homes - but see each other nearly every day. His 2 children with her are now over 18. His phone recently broke and I mentioned to him that now would be a good time to go on my plan or get his own. Either way he would get a free phone. He cannot get a free phone under her plan. He has decided to buy a new phone and stay on her plan. She has not charged him to be on this plan for the last few months. Also, as part of their divorce settlement, she remains on his health insurance plan that he gets through work. He invited my teenage sons and I over for Christmas Eve and when we got there, his ex wife was there. He said she wanted to see their kids open their gifts. I think they could have had a separate Christmas at her house. Because he wanted to watch the gift opening, he sat by her and talked to her the whole time she was there ignoring me and my boys. I asked him to sit by us on the other side of the room 3 times and he refused. There wasn't room for us to move closer to him. She is rude to me and he has never been affectionate to me when she is around. I asked him recently if she would be coming for Christmas next year and he said she would if she wanted to. I don't enjoy being ignored when she is around. Am I reading too much into this or will he never be able to let go of her? I understand they have kids together but the kids are not children anymore. Our relationship is wonderful until her name gets mentioned and then I just want to cringe!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): Thank you for coming back.
My view now is maybe give him a warning (if you want) but really if he isn't that in to you that he can't forget her - go find someone who is into you.
Star.x.
A
female
reader, sweetcocobear +, writes (21 April 2009):
sweetcocobear is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you. Both good answers. He just called me from his new phone that he paid almost $150 for. Could have had a free one on my plan. I guess after 3 yrs. if he can't even make a cell phone commitment or go on his own plan, it may be time to move on. I've told him how I feel about it and he thinks it is ridiculous that I even bring it up and refuses to talk about it. He sees no problem at all with the situation and thinks I am being insecure. If we go out in public, he just treats me like a friend. His friends know that we are a couple but if he were to show affection towards me he told me they would think it was weird because I'm not his ex wife and in the past they were used to seeing him with her. I thought time would have solved this problem by now but it hasn't. About myself, I think he should be proud to put his arm around me in public from time to time. He says that because he is not 18 anymore showing affection in public is inappropriate. He's 51 and I'm 45 and truly believe I'm attractive. Thanks again for your help. I guess I'll be doing some soul searching this week to figure it all out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): i think you could be, but i think you have right to say look " i have chosen you. At what point do I get all of you? - is it when the kids have gone?, when you retire?"
anyway just my thought
Star.x.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): My heart goes out to you. This is very difficult indeed. If it were me I wouldn't stand for it. I would feel as if I was the number 2 choice. I would go look for someone who was really free. Of course easier said than done. Maybe you can tell your feelings and see how that goes? If it were you and an ex I'm sure he would feel the same right?
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