A
female
age
30-35,
*wannaloveme
writes:four years ago, I dated a guy who I was head over heals about. In other words who I was very obssessed with but not in a crazy way. Just in a weird way that I could never understand. We broke up because of peer pressure. I was a kid and he was more of a kid than i was. Listen, when i say i was crazy about him, i mean he was tatted in my heart, mind and soul. after we broke up i kept trying to make myself believe that i was over him. So i started liking his friend. i know this sounds bad but it's really not as bad as it sounds. His friend and i started hanging around each other a lot and we started talking to each other on a regular basis and eventually became official. I dated his friend for almost two years and we still talk from time to time because we're not over each other yet. I love him and he loves me. I know he cares for me because he deals with me being biopolar, inconfident, and bitchy . he takes so much from me that i don't have to think twice about him loving me. so throughout the times we were dating, my ex started coming around us. when i see him my heart beats fast, my knees start to shake and i lose controle. i don't know why, ever since then i kept running into him, and the same thing keeps happening everytime i see him. i think about him from time to time and sometimes even regret that we broke. i have dreams of him almost everynight. I'm ashamed of myself, I hate myself for it because I know it's wrong. I'm still involved with my my ex that i had been dating for almost two years. i told him that i catch feelings for my other ex and he didn't take it personal at all, he said he expected that, i don't know what that means. last time i try to talk about it, he said that i must be losing my mind because my other ex is getting married and that was the end of our conversation. afterward i just said i was playing because it made no sense trying to talk to him about it. as far as i know, he didn't take it serious and things just went right back to normal. right now as i'm writing this i'm thinking about my ex from four years ago and i wish i could be with him sometimes. but i know i love my current and i don't want to hurt him. when my ex from four years ago sees me, he goes the other way. i think he hates me and i can't stand it. i want us to at least be friends. please help me.i think it's literally driving me insane and i think karma has a lot to do with it. please tell me what i should do. am i really going crazy. am i obssesed with my ex from four years ago or what. tell me what i should do please.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2010): You say you see him around a lot? Well, next time, before he turns and walks the other way, say hello. I'm sure that idea scares you to death or makes you feel nervous, but if you don't- you will always wonder. A small moment of nervousness does not amount to the hours and hours spent playing the "what if?" game. Start a small, friendly conversation with him and ask how he is. Let him know with your actions that you are hoping to be friends. Because that's all you want, right? Congratulate him on his engagement. Maybe he'll come out and actually admit a few things to you- and you can sort them out. Make sure you remember that he's getting married though. He's not looking for a friend who has little respect. Good luck and hope this helps!
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