A
female
age
51-59,
*hippy2
writes:Here I go again - I have been seeing this guy for 3 years - he has two girls I have one at home too. We get along fine when it is the two of us - days fly by - we giggle wrestle and just have a good time and do projects and suchI help him around his house but he never helps with mine - he has bought many expensive items over the last months and treated his girls to extravagant gifts.But he continues to put me down and expect more from me - the this past friday he said he was getting the girls a dog - they dont even live with him - he was expecting me to take care of it and his girls if he gets custody!I dont want to help with either cause his parents do not like me and he is taking me for granted. His mom actually came into my home to tell me that he will never marry again ( they told him that he is not to) and that they told him to let me go and find someone who wont argue and has a life of her ownI told her it would be a fantasy or he would pay alot to have a woman stay at his house and take care of the kids and his needs without getting married - thats nuts right?We are not talking now cause when I told him he crossed the line with the dog thing he said - everyone at work tells me I gotta do what the girls want and if you wont help then I will find someone else!I have tried to get a response from him but nothingMy friends are FURIOUS at me for not just moving onPlease tell me someone has been in this situation or give me advice - Even though he insults me he is much better than my x was - so I guess I dont know what to do or how to end it - He wont end it he usually calls after a bit like nothing happened - but here he is ruining another holiday for me with sadness Thanks
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 November 2008):
 I hate to say this, Chippy, but the one who is ruining your holiday is you, because you've continued to let him treat you like this. He does it because you let him. When you realize that, you'll be on your way.
To end it, you simply have to stop taking his calls and don't see him anymore. That's all it takes. You can do it with the help of your friends.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Teacake +, writes (25 November 2008):
 You need to find something really fun to do on thanksgiving and DON'T answer your phone. He is obviously a user and very self involved. Not surprised his mother is such a bitch! Apple didn't fall to far from the tree.
Don't sell yourself short just because his abuse isn't as bad as the other guy.
Your friends are angry because they care for you and are concerned you think you should put up with that asshole.
From now till next week, don't take his calls. You don't owe him an explanation!
When you do speak next just don't give too much information because he will want to pull you into an argument and get all self righteous.
Just say flat out he is not the one for you and you aren't the one for him. That you both deserve to be with the right person and its best to move on.
Let him go. It will be hard for sure but you need to keep busy as they say and find fun things to do with your friends. Be thankful you didn't marry this guy.
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