A
male
age
30-35,
*TCR
writes:Alright.. so me an my gf have been going out for almost 2 months now, and im not sure whether this is paranoia or what. so ive previously had bad relationships, all of them ending with me getting dumped. but this relationship is so much different, an i think i might love her. but i have no idea what she thinks, and ive tried giving her openings to talk bout things like that an she doesnt say anytihng... but anyways, recently my gf has seemed stressed, as well as distant an preoccupied. she also comments that i get annoying frequently. we both know that we both act immature sometimes, like 6 year olds in high school, but this is different.. its been going on for about 2 weeks now, and she seems to be pulling away from me.she hardly hugs/kisses me, an she tells me shes got something on her mind, but she wont tell me what. an since im just paranoid like that, ive got a sickening feeling that she is going to dump me. every once in a while we'll have a moment where it'll seem back to normal, but then it'll go back to the same thing after. when i expressed some of my concerns, she said something along the lines, "that we'll eventually break up, because high school relationships never work out". does any one have an idea what might be the problem? are these signs that usually leading up to dumping someone? or am i just worrying to much, scared that this relationship will end up like all the rest?if u can help, then it wud be sorely appreciated
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female
reader, starlight_puppy +, writes (6 May 2009):
she might be just scared. I know it sounds unlikely but hear me out.... When I fell in love with my bf I was so scared cause things I gotten close to in the past had disapeared to quickly. Maybe ur gf has strong feelings for you but is scared to get to close because she might lose you.
You said that she says your annoying sometimes....maybe that's cause she is stressed meaning that since your mostly likely the person around her the most it seems like your the problem not whatever she is going through, when it's not.
and about the high school relationships....it's true most don't last and maybe that's also why she is scared, she doesn't want to get to close to something that she knows will have an end.
My suggestions are that you give her a little space for a while until she is slightly less stressed. Or help her calm down, the worst thing you can do with a girl in a bad mood is joke around with her (that's if she is really pissed)
Look I don't know what's going on between you two, well I don't know her aide but from what I can see, maybe she is getting scared try asking her questions about it when she is calm and also open up to her tell her what you feel, she should open up to you too
Goodluck from,
Alexandra :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2009): Well it seems to me that she is even telling you that she will break up with you, if not now then soon. Hey, you can't really know a person that well after only two months. Some people go through cycles, or moods, and when you are with them long enough you begin to understand the way that cycle works. But how can you know after two months whether her behaviour is normal or not?
To be honest it sounds like this girl doesn't take things too seriously. Don't be surprised if she backs out :(
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2009): Well now, this is a catch-22 isn't it?You very well might be correctly identifying red flags about your situation. They seem like red flags to me too.However, by worrying about losing something, you only increase the likelihood of losing it. Also, in the process of all that worrying, you decrease your enjoyment factor of whatever particular moment happen to be in with her.So the philosophy you need to embrace is:You might share the same path with a person.. and you might have all kinds of laughs and fun along the way... but eventually that person WILL have to part ways from you. You trying to shackle them to your path, whether by chains of steel, or chains of expectation, will only drive them away quicker.The past is history and the future is a mystery. Yet, the present is a gift.
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