A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Has anyOdy else experience what I am experiencing now? Although She is an attractive woman I have never had any feelings for her in the past. By accident I found out that she finds me physically attractive. I never realised that fancied my type. Now I can't stop thinking about her and fantasizing about her. How did this psychologically affect me? Am I just in love with the idea of being loved? Is this just a hidden narcissistic part of my subconsious personality ? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (16 August 2018):
 Ah, I remember your first post.
And I remember how UNPROFESSIONAL she acted afterwards towards you. So DEFINITELY do not go there.
The notion of "don't crap where you eat" (or date where you work) is a SMART motto to go by.
And remember this, if ONE woman can find you attractive there are bound to be others out there who will find you attractive too, and... whom YOU will find to be your "type".
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2018): OP here.
Yeah I guess it is really the ego boost that is giving me a dopamine hit. I don't think I will act on it, since she is my boss. I have posted here is in the past. Some of you might have seen it.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-saw-my-boss-on-a-dating-app.html
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 August 2018):
Why doesn't like the idea of someone having a crush on us? Seriously?
You are flattered, your EGO got a big boost.
Like WiseOwlE said, it has NOTHING to do with love.
Her finding you attractive - not love.
YOU enjoying being FOUND attractive by her - not love.
Is it normal, yes I think so. Doesn't mean YOU need to act on it, as you are REALLY not interested in HER - just her "worship" of you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2018): Yes! It's a matter of vanity. It's an ego-boost to know that someone finds you attractive. If you're suddenly turned-on by this lady, I think it might be more along the lines of lust.
You're not in-love with the idea of love; your ego just hit a new high, because you found-out somebody thinks you're hot!
If you act on it, I doubt it will go much further than sex for you. She might have more in-mind; but love has nothing to do with any of this.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (15 August 2018):
 I can talk from the other side as a woman because me and some guy have been having mutual crushes. He is not someone I would consider attractive at first, but I always notice him staring at me. It was his serious work ethic that turned me on. Then later I began to see that physically, he is attractive in some way too. I don't think physical attraction is enough for it to sustain feelings. There has to be something else that catches your attention too.
I was indeed flattered by the crush. It was only later on I realized why we liked each other so much as I got to know him. There is a narcissistic part in this too but it's healthy, not some psychopathic thing like people need excessive admiration or a grandiose sense of self.
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