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male
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anonymous
writes:hey i need some helpfirstly i have been with my partener for 18 months, we have a son together. the birth of our son was a bad labour and my partener was diagnosed with PND she was on medication for 7 months for it and she has recently stopped off her own accord, without weening of them.the problem is:about 8 weeks ago my partenerstarted talking to an old 'male' friend and since then they have became increasing chatty.what my worry is that she is loosing interest in me because of this guy or maybe because of my parinoia which i fear i am being.basicly she mentions him at least 5-7 times a day, they talk for hours, flicks round facebook at every coment, vid,... well and post realy that he puts up.one night she came to bed, left face book logged in.. i asked for a cuddle, dhe said her back hurt which i thought fair enough, but then the pop facebook makes sounded ... it was him, she hopped out of bed asif her back ache had just gone.i have mentioned this to her, she said i wont talk to him as much, this lasted a few days and has now gone back to the same way.over the last few days she has said i have been suffocating her, but the ammount off affection hasnt changed, when i tell her i love her i get "love you to" but there is no feeling in it its monotone and it makes me feel like she doesnt mean it, over these weeks i have noticed that she doesnt even look at me the same any more, i hardley ever recive compliments anymore, (we used to have a thing where i would start your hot ... your hotter, and so on)when i try talking sometimes she understands others she gets moody, she says i love you, and im not going anywere, get used to it but you ned to get your parinoia sortedi cant loose her through my parinoia(if it is that at all)any help would be appriated
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): Your partner is dealing with her problems badly. I do think she is torn by your lovely baby and her faithful husband versus this other guy who is making her feel she is an attractive woman. If she does walk out on you it will not be the of middle earth. You will get over it. How long since she had some pampering, time alone with some music. She may well be trying to get the push to leave you. But if she does and If it happens you have to be in a better emotional state than you are now. Your baby needs you to be the calm well organised one. please relax a little. Things may be brewing but getting paranoid is not the answer. It may feel like the end as the End of the World. But this situation will pass. Go to your Doctor and get some anxiety medication for you. Your partner should not sling mud at your paranoia as i suspect you have good reason to be concerned. But getting very worked up wil not help you nor your baby. It is very upsetting for a baby to hear all this negativity and sense the tension in the air. The other guy should butt out, but sadly your girlfriend is encouraging him, which is a very bad sign. My answer is for you, but with a comment at the end to Agony Aunt ICDarkly - to the latter i say it is some personalities (not male not female specifically) who break the contract re a relationship. Never ever have i ever wanted to be unfaithful (and never have) to my partner. I would never do business again with someone who cheated me. In marriage i would walk if my partner was unfaithful or ever attempted domestic violence. Thankfully that will never happen, i have utter faith in my partner and vice versa. There are many people are out with the same values as us. Associate with good people and the good rubs off on to you over time. . We talked over those ground rules at the outset. It has never been an issue since. . Hoe Just as in a business relationship i expect integrity, be honourable (keep your promises, deliver,mean what you say, and do what you say you will) so that is my view for the marriage contract.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmost of the backstory is here
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni have said to her that if she wants to go .. im not going to trap her, but she says she doesnt want to give up that easy. im realy confused
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010): Let me tell you what's going on...she likes him, unless you guys are now happy and she realized what an idiot she is being than she likes him. Believe me when most girls like a guy they text and talk and check out his fb page. Read her body expressions...if she gets a text from him is she all smiley or does she giggle. Also, if she is being monotone about the "love you too" and doesn't want to cuddle with you I would def. think she liked the guy too. If she also says if you keep being paranoid then I want out of this relationship then most likely she is looking for an easy way out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionanother update
i have sugested relationship conciling, she said there is no point, so does this mean she has given up
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question::upadte::we had a talk lastnite and she says she does love my but she thinks i have pusshed it too far and doesnt know if she should stay or go, can anyone help me get her back, as i said i cant loose her, i need her support through this
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male
reader, ICDarkly +, writes (7 November 2010):
 I'm going through almost the exact same thing. I believe that women get bored in long term relationships, they miss the excitement of a new one. Maybe she's talking to this guy because she believes or knows that he is attracted to her. She enjoys knowing she's still attractive to other men. I know that this isn't an answer to your question but I hope this helps you understand your situation.
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