A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I wonder if I am engaged to the wrong person. We have been together for 4 years+ now... Our wedding is next month... He is kind, nice, my best friend, has a very strong personality, has helped me several times, very supportive, my friends and family like him... However, I have some financial worries about our future... He is an entrepreneur and is clever at business. But I am having anxiety problems since I prefer the stable lifestyle and I'm always worried. He is very generous, never worried about money, always gives and helps if someone needs.. These are very good traits of character. But I always tell him that he needs to start having a different money perspective if he was to start a family... He gets upset when he feels i'm worried, and it got to the point where he began to think that I don't trust him and that i'm materialistic. He can't see that my issue is not about money or wealth... It's about security... I do feel secure when i see his optimism in life and his strong personality... He even inspires me when I'm down... But I still see that he needs to change his saving/spending patterns... Any advice about how can I communicate my concerns without sounding materialistic? Thanks
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female
reader, ImmortalPrincess  +, writes (24 June 2012):
 You've been with him for four years, and you wait until a month before your wedding to express doubts. This could be a simple case of re wedding nerves. On the other hand, if you truly don't trust him to secure your financial future, then yes.....you are engaged to the wrong man. It is important for a couple to be on the same page in financial matters. Money issues is one of the main killers of a relationship.I will tell you this, though. When I met my husband, ten years ago, he was living at home, and unloading trucks for Walmart. He had no savings, no 401k, and no plan for his future. I was so in love with him, and couldn't see myself with anyone else, so I married him anyway.Today, he works for Cisco Systems, is working on his second bachelor's degree, we own our own home, and are financially set for the future. Just because your fiancée isn't financially where you want him to be, right now, does not mean that his priorities wont change, as he gets a little older, a little wiser, and a little more concerned about the future. Ask yourself three questionsAre you in love with him?Do you trust him?Can you see yourself married to anyone else?At the end of the day, YOU are the only one who can truly answer whether or not you are engaged to the right person. :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2012): If you have to ask, the answer is YES. Otherwise you would know for sure, have no doubts and feel it deep inside, this is the one.
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