A
female
age
51-59,
*onvalaria
writes:Am i being taken for granted.I feel that my partner of 3 years are taking me for granted. His has two kids living with us, twin 15 (boy and girl) and they are great children but very lazy. Never help with cooking, giving a chore results in moodiness, never done laundry, etc. We recently went to visit another continent and the entire holiday was built around the kids, not one thing was planned for us as a couple, two weeks ago I moved my business to new offices and to date he only came here once for 10 minutes to get the children out of the house as one of the twin (girl) recently had a somewhat traumatic experience. It feels like my partner has completely alienated me and only focused on his daughter. Although the son and I are exptected to be support pillars to the daughter. I must stress that this has nothing to do with jealousy. Am i wrong in feelng invisible to them, i expected us as a couple to bond stronger and to show to the daughter that love is healthy, not like he does alienate me to comfort her all the time. Small examples, we used to share the couch while wathcing tv at night but now his daughter is sharing the couch with him, we all sit and watch a moving he gets up kisses the twin good night on the head and walk off to bed with 'will you please lock up', yesterday i went to lie down after a very busy day at the office and accidently slept right through to 23h00 when i woke up they made food but left nothing for me. I have been doing the extremely expensive grocery shopping (as they only eat healthy foods/no fat etc) for them since we got back from our hoiday, i moved in with them the week before we left for holiday. Please give some input as i feel like a complete idiot to accept is. I am a successful business woman and am financially independent. Just some advise will be appreciated as i think a the moment i am feeling sorry for myself and might be over reacting too.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (28 September 2010):
 I hope it works out for you.
A
female
reader, Convalaria +, writes (28 September 2010):
Convalaria is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the answer, it is very helpful as my thought process leans towards the same direction. I will give give the shopping a couple of skips based on a busy day and put in some overtime at the office. And will let you know what the result was.s Great answer and advise thanks
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A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (28 September 2010):
I dont think your overreacting to this. Being in a relationship should involve quality time together as well as making time for the kids.
Do you ever get alone time together, how does he react then?
He is not taking an interest in your life, and seems to be adopting a selfish attitude when it comes to him and his daughter.
It does sound like you are being taken for granted quite a lot, like your relationship has now become so routine.
You could handle this in several ways, if you feel you cant sit down with him and have a one to one talk about your feelings.
Stop being there for them, just for a little while. Maybe stop buying expensive grocery, work a few late nights. Go out with your own friends. Just try and remove yourself from the situation from time to time. Focus on yourself for a change.
If he doesnt get the hint then you should really be looking at what you want out of your relationship. Your not asking too much for closeness and love from a partner.
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