A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi quick question, my boyfriend and i have been together now for 2 years.Whenever time he goes out, whether to his dad's house or out with friends he does not like to tell me and we live together. I find it disrespectful and rude. I complain to him and he says when he does tell me i get mad, but i do not. I just think its appropriate to say when you're not going to be home rather then sending me a text message. Am i controlling or do i care too much about him.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (17 November 2013):
 I think a text JUST fine.
As long as he doesn't text you at 5.45 knowing you have dinner ready at 6pm (example) but does he need to call and TALK to you, to let you know? I don't think so. A text is quite fine.
And all he has to say is, going to my Dad's see you later - I'll let you know if I crash at his house.
You say he doesn't like to tell you, my guess is you have fussed over him not being home with you at least once, so he rather NOT tell you then deal with the fussing.
YOU two need to sit down and tell each other what you two expect. Since you live together the LEAST he can do it text you letting you know. If you went out with friend one evening, you should do the same.
My question is, DO you go out with friends without him? Do you have a social life or does your life revolve around him and work? If so, then maybe you need to branch out a little - give you both a little breathing space.
A
female
reader, Intrigued3000 +, writes (16 November 2013):
 I agree with anonymous. Texting you is informing you. If you're fussing about this, then yes, you're acting like a control freak.
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (16 November 2013):
 from the limited information you gave that doe's not seem over the top. its normal to want to know were a person that you love is going. he says you get mad, and you say you do not? miscommunication seems to be a problem here. he doe's not want to tell you were he is going because he perceives you either get mad, puff up, don't trust him while he is out, or want talk when he returns. you say you don't get mad, and you may not but he feels like you do! it may be your reaction more than anything that makes him feel that way. if he is sending you a text message its because he doe's not want to face you and your reaction? nothing wrong with caring about him while he is gone, you can let him know that is why you may worry while he is out. if he feels that you are controlling, he is feeling smothered by you, like he may feel you want to know his every move, and that you don't trust him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2013): You say "I think its appropriate to say rather than send a text message"
If he's texting you he's telling you, what more do you need?? He has told you that you get mad and you don't think you do. Something must have happened for him to think you get mad, and now he doesn't like to say because of it.
He texts you to tell you, I don't know what more he could do?? So yes, it does sound like you are being clingy, or a bit controlling/jealous of him from this question. Ease off him, if he texts to say he's going out wish him a nice time and see him later.
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