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female
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anonymous
writes: heya i am 14, my b/f of 2 months suddenly just stopped phoning me and whenever i phone him he always says he is busy! we dont go to the same school, we go to the park every week, thats how we met. (he doesnt really go anymore cos of the world cup is on all the time lol).do you think he is hinting that he doesnt wanna go out wiv me now? on the phone i said, 'can u phone me when you can meet up wiv me' and that was 4 weeks ago and i havent heard from him since!we were really good mates before we went out so why doesnt he just tell me he doesnt wanna be wiv me anymore?also if it is over do u think i should still be good mates wiv him like i was before or just not talk to him anymore?plz help, i am feeling really depressed about it :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2006): Great advice from drpsych. I would just like to add a few thoughts. Dear, dating relationships require two players. When your bf refuses to contact you after 4 weeks you have to know... the game is over. But please understand...you did all you could-you did not fail. He failed you. So the result of all this happening is you now have the opportunity to get out there and find a nice bf who is more worthy of you and treats you the way you really deserve. Don't be hard on yourself thinking you did something wrong because you didn't. Dating is meant to be fun..it's an opportunity to grow and develop and helps a young girl like yourself, learn about love and relationships, in preparation for when you become an adult. Take this setback with this young man and learn to move on. Take heart, dear--there will be many more bf's who capture your interest along the way. Just always use a clear head and hold out for the guy that treats you like a queen. Because you do know---you are worth it, dear. good luck
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (21 June 2006):
 Boys are sometimes rubbish at expressing their feelings. He may hope you will take the hint and just not call him anymore as he doesn't want to finish it verbally for fear of confrontation. He may be distracted by the football too. My husband is a TV zombie at the moment glued to the matches. I think you should just not call him anymore, and if he does ring you then make sure he knows that he cannot use you when he has absolutely nothing better to do. As you are starting to learn - it can be good to have boy mates, but it gets all muddled when you date them. It is unusual to be able to stay good friends with an ex in my experience. Don't feel depressed about it - if he ignores you then he was not a good boyfriend and you can do better! At 14 you have lots of time for dating so try not to worry.
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