A
female
age
36-40,
*shley95
writes:ok I met this guy on myspace his friend was my friend so we started chatting exchanged numbers then started texting a lot! I knew he had a girlfriend but he was just so cute and we have almost EVERYTHING in common we started hanging out first night we didn't do anything together just watch movies. second time he kissed me.third time make out.fourth time he got me completely naked and fingered me.fifth time we had sex.sixth time we had sex.seventh time we had sex.he tells me he cares about me and like his friends even tell him that im way better looking then her. he even thinks I am way hotter.we still text a lot but I dunno what else to do I get jealous when I know when he's with his girlfriend I even tell him that we should just be friends but we just can't keep our hands off eachother I think im falling in love im so scared im gonna get hurt. I know im not just a bootycall cause he wants me to stay till morning and everything he kisses me in the middle of the night for no reason if I was a bootycall he wouldn't do that we laugh and everything he even told me then when he's with me he dosent feel like he even has a girlfriend what does this mean ? should I break it off ? tell him how I feel? im so confused please help ...actually he just texted me right now to ask when we are gona hang out again Help!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2008): He seems like a pretty good guy. I think that you should make him choose between you or girlfriend because right now it sounds like he has his girlfriend but you on the side for a little extra. If he really has feeling for you he'll choose you. Hun your worth so much more and if he can't make a decision you can find a guy who will want you and only you all to himself. But if he does choose you be careful what makes you think he won't cheat on you afterall he did cheat on his girlfriend right. GOOD LUCK!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): The guy has no sense of loyalty and is very happy with being a cheater. My advice would be to get out before you fall in love because if you do, you will get hurt and you will be cheated on again. Marriage is a farce, if everyone was loyal, we wouldn't need it would we. The only thing that might change a cheater is a child I think. Goes for both genders.
Yes it hurts and yes it's hard, make a decision, the easiest thing to do is break off all contact until you cool down then try friends-only. You don't have to torture yourself like that. Concentrate on finding someone else.
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A
female
reader, ashley95 +, writes (4 November 2008):
ashley95 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell ty all for the support :x ill keep ya updated xo-ash
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): im in the same situation, and truely the decision is yours. if i were you i would try to spend time with him without having sex, and if that's creates an issue, then YES you are a booty call.but with my guy we don't have sex everytime we meet. so i'm forced to believe that sex is NOT all that our relationship is based on. we do talk, we do share personal feelings and outlooks on life, our history, etc. it will be hard because i know the sexual attraction is very strong, but just do it to prove a point to yourself.the key difference with what you and i are doing is our guys ARE NOT MARRIED, their just in a supposedly commited and loyal (yeah...right) relationship. so technically in my eyes they are still available. some would say im crazy for thinking this way but oh...well.you give him an ultimatum when you feel it's time, not based on what anyone on this site says. yes we are setting our self up for a POSSIBLE broken heart at the end of the or deal, but it's already gone too far or you wouldn't even be on dearcupid asking for advice on this particular issue.give it your best go girl, don't scare him away which is what his gf has obviously already done.Best HopesTF
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (4 November 2008):
Just because he doesn't treat you like crap when you are with him, it doesn't mean that he has any respect for you / cares about you.
Don't kid yourself into thinking you are anything more than his bit of fun on the side.
Tell him that you want him as a boyfriend and you don't want to share him any more.
Then be really strong and don't see him again until he has split up with his girlfriend and is ready to commit to you.
There is a good chance he will just tell you that's fine and stick with his girlfriend, or he will lie and make up some sob story about how hard her life is right now and how he can't hurt her while she's down, or that he can't afford to stop seeing her as he is tied into a lease or ANYTHING to keep you as a good place to go for sex and then he can go home to his girlfriend.
You know how hurt you will be if you don't be strong on this.
Tell him he has to be with you and no one else if he wants to keep seeing you.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (4 November 2008):
 of course he's using you. He's having his cake and eating it too. Why would he end it with you or her if he doesn't have too. The only one that is going to get her heart crushed out of all this is YOU.
The only thing to do, is tell him that you can't do this anymore. That you've develop feelings for him and want something serious. Either he breaks up with his g/f and be with you or it's over.
If you don't do this, and are so attach you can't let go.
He knows that he has a hold on you and you'll never leave him. Be strong. You deserve someone that will make you number one in their life. Not a fallback girl he wants to see when it's convienent for him. So yes...if you stay
YOU are letting this happen. You have the power to change your situation and get back your power. Best of luck
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