A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Something is really bothering me...I don't have a boyfriend. I have had relationships in the past but it's always gone wrong because they've either just wanted sex or lied etcI recently started seeing a new guy and thought everything was great...until I refused to sleep with him and I never heard from him again. I was glad because I knew then, what he was really after in the first place. But at the same time, it was like a huge blow to my stomach and I was so sad because yet another relationship had gone wrong.I really don't know what to do. I'm still in touch with my ex, who treated me badly but now claims he loves me. I feel like going back with him because he is the only guy that maybe still likes me. I don't get any offers from any others, I'm not popular at all. I don't feel myself to be attractive but people tell me that I am.I'm an extremely underconfident person; I have very little self esteem and don't think much of myself. I also have emotional problems, anxiety etc.It all just really gets to me. Why is it whenever I find someone, they just lust after me and want sex? Is every guy going to be like this?All my friends have boyfriends, and when they talk about them in front of me, I feel sooo left out. I can't even join in on the conversation! and I admit, I'm very jealous. I wish I had the same that they did.I have also met what I feel like is the man of my dreams online but he lives far away from me! I know he's who he says he is too, because we have actually spoken to each other. It's just like I'm destined to have bad luckCan anybody give me some advice please? I'd be really grateful, thanks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chikpea62 +, writes (14 January 2006):
moving backwards to go to an ex is NOT healthy. don't settle for someone that didn't make you feel good enough the first time around. just remember you cannot reach your desired destination while going in reverse. keep looking forward and don't give up on yourself. you just have to belive in yourself and your self confidence will take you there. it's amazing what can happen with a little of it! good luck to you and keep looking forward!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2006): You've probably seen this advice elsewhere, but if a guy breaks up with you because you aren't ready for sex, then he wasn't interested in you in the first place. A guy who genuinely cares about YOUR feelings will respect your wishes and would pass up a chance to have meaningless sex with an ex-girlfriend. I can say with confidence that not all guys are looking for a girlfriend solely for sex--I am one of them.
I don't know you, but you are special. You may think you're unattractive and have low self-esteem, but you've already had numerous relationships. You sound mature and intelligent--qualities I would love to see in more women. Use that to your advantage. I haven't had a girlfriend yet! You must be doing something right.
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