A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Well you may not know this but this is the 5th time I wrote here in an ever increasing attempt to turn my life around. Let me start by saying...yes i have experience with women and the only reason i 'll act the way i am now because being alone is tearing me apart.Ive been single for four years now ever since i hit the slump it felt natural for me... Ive discovered what i what ..i knew myself... Well let me tell you...that was a long time ago. After that my seemingly happy life would be bombarded by the sting of loneliness... Never having to watch the embarassing movies i like... Never having to share the girly novel the girls turned me into liking.I just feel that my body right now is built for a relationship and i cant seem to find the one... I had her then i lost her... I talked to her...she wasnt available permanently . Its starting to affect my work, my friends ...hell i cant even play video games anymore...every time i see couple stuff i miss it.And yes im a dude i know how pathetic this is. How stupid and illogical i am right now but I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO... All the things that make me happy before dont work and i just miss being able to rely on someone in an intimate level... I miss the hugs,the cheers,i miss it all generally...i watched antman the past week alone for sh#t sake... All my friends are moving on and i feel like i may be left alone forever.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2015): oh dear you dont know how endearing your lament is..and you have got it bad,if only i could really believe that youve been single for four yours.The couple bite is a hard thing but firstly remember youare human, secondly you were born alone and will probably die alone, so toughenup..Now aboutlosing the one ..that is tough but before you decimate yourself with negativity let me tell you that there mustve been times when you two were a hot couple,but like temperedglass it is difficult to keep that pace and temperature up forever. If things went wrong let me reassure you that you arent the onlyperson in the world to make mistakes because we all do, even those who have learned to be compassionate and kinder later in life made ghastly mistakes and screwed up countless opportunities and people. you have to tell yourself that as we are born humans we are bound to make mistakes..it is almost inevitable and life is one long road of experiences with the occassional happy plateau. I suggest you look up the dalai lama who radiates kindheartedness and also explains how to fart on a plane..yes, his audience is rolling round with laughter,but the point is we are all human...we share so much in common that warmheartedness to fellow man is a natural but often thwarted experience.So please forgive yourself for your mistakes..youcould try a frank discussion with your ex and you could learn to meditate ,so that you learn to see life differently.Let your girlfriend also feel to forgive you or herself if you want to restart your relationship, but be warned we are often a product of our enviroments which we have no choice or control over when we are born so try to gain new experiences to learn to open your mind. If ,for example you were born to competitive or distant parents you may follow their perception of life but you have a right to make life your own, the way you want it..as you are stll so young,or even if you are a little older why dont you take a gap year for a bit of soul healing and go and do something consevationist to help save the planet like looking after endangered species such as turtles..because each experience will shape you a little bit differently.I like your plaintive plea that computer games are no substitute for love, friendship, laughter and companionship because you have hit the nail on the head..you need real people to help you kickstart life again , so i wish you a very happy gap year if you can find one..would the love of your life be interested in accompanying you..or has the relationship run its course?
A
female
reader, Keeley345  +, writes (31 July 2015):
You sound like someone MUCH older but...you're 18-21. So you're still young and have a WHOLE future ahead of you. In life friends come and go, likewise with girlfriends & boyfriends. People move on or away, make new friends etc
We ALL experience sadness and loneliness at some point in life. Recently at age 31, I feel lonely. Why? I left a job I was in for 8 yrs in 2011 and decided to go to University (College). I wanted a career. I had a group of friends for years that I partied with, travelled with etc but as we got older, we drifted apart. Some friends moved away others got married had kids and me...I'm still single, no kids BUT I have a wonderful career. However I have only 1 friend I still hang out with. Sad I know but there is a reason behind my lack of a social life.
I know when I start a new job I'll probably make new friends and I'm open to meeting new friends AND boyfriends if the right person comes along. But for now...it's important you and I learn to enjoy being on our own. Find a new hobby and get to know ourselves better. We can't expect other people to make us happy. I am planning a short trip on my own for next year.
Yes, i'll be holidaying alone but at least i'm going out there to enjoy myself and can at least say I did something fun even without friends or a boyfriend. YOUR LIFE is yours dude, make the most of it. Don't waste time worrying about what you don't have and start creating memories and fun on your own.
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