A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 10 months. At first everything was great. But things have changed. A good friend of mine passed away recently and I hadn't seend my boyfriend since I was with the family. Well, I asked my bf if he and I could spend some time together, go to a party maybe but go home early so he could hold me and I could let everything out. He complained that there was a concert out of town the he wanted to go to. I told him I really needed him in my time of need and asked (more like begged) him to stay. He did which was nice. Even though I feel like I shouldn't have had to beg, whatever. So we go to this party and everything is fine, until a friend comes up and asks me about the friend that passed away. I got upset again and asked my bf when we were leaving. He promised me wed leave by midnight. Well he changed his mind moments later and wanted to stay longer. I got more upset and so angry I got our roomate to take me home. Well my bf blew up and told everyone our business, told everyone I was being crazy, he wouldn't speak to me. I sat at our house bawling tears for hours. I left and went to my parents house and he hasn't spoken to me yet. I understand that he was being nice, not going to the concert, and planning on spending time with me after the party. Im just really emotional and need someone to hold me. Any advice? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, stina +, writes (14 May 2007):
 Hi there anonymous,
First let me say that I'm very sorry to hear about the passing of your friend. It sounds like this person was a wonderful part of your life seeing as how upset you are. And even if you two weren't that close, anytime a person that we knows passes - whether it be an aquaintance or a family member - it can be very difficult and at time devastating.
That leads me to this thought: your boyfriend sounds like a self-centered assh*le. If you need someone to hold you, I think you should look somewhere other than your boyfriend. Maybe another good friend of yours or even your parents. If you're having a really hard time of it, there's no reason you shouldn't be able to see a counselor to figure out ways to ease your depression about your friend passing away.
The way I see it, your boyfriend put his "needs" (read: Wants) before yours. He should have offered to stay home with you instead of go to the concert. Personally, if my partner - or even one of my friends - were going through what you are, a concert wouldn't even enter my mind. *You* would be the center of everything. I would make sure that *you* are comforted before thinking about anything else. I think that's what most people with any sort of compassion or decency would think/do.
And how dare he air our your personal business to everyone? I think that little display would have proven just what a jerk he is rather than make it seem as though you're crazy, honestly (which you definitly are NOT).
Anonymous, get rid of this jerk. You deserve better than this and if he is acting this way after only 10 months, I can't imagine what he has in store for you in the future. Please, even if it means you're going to remain single for a while, do yourself a favor and break up with this jerk. He does not sound like he is good for you, at least from the very little info I know about him. Being single would be much better than feeling like you have no emotional support in a relationship, especially in such a delicate situation that you are in.
Also, you might consider releasing your emotions by way of a journal - you don't have to just write in it. You could turn it into a collage and an artpiece. It might help you feel better - I know this has helped me before.
Take care. And please - don't let this guy have a chance to spout out anymore bs. You don't need anything so negative in your life right now.
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