A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i dont no what to do. 2months ago i finished a 3year relationship wiv my ex because i fell in love with someone else who i have since been goin out with. it hit my ex bad and hes done everything he possibly can to get me back. now i dont think i love my bf of 2months, i think i fell in love with him bacause he treated me diff.i wanna be mates with my ex but he wants me back obv. i met him today an i had a lovely day we jus sat over the park an chatted. like mates.i finished it with my bf of 2 months earlier coz i cant make myself love him. i just dont no what to do for the best. he went dinlo an practically beat me up. was horrible. i feel really guilty tho coz i basically chewd him up an spat him out. broke his heart. just like i did to my ex. who now thinks hes gona win me back.all i seem to keep doin is breakin peoples hearts.i think i wana be on my own ive been in a 3 an a half year relationship since i was 14 then straight into a 2month one. im fed up with always havin 2 be someones. i wanna b my own person no1elses. im 18 in a month. i duno what to do ?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): Humm...interesting *strokes chin*
By the way I do take things seriously I'm just in a pixelly humourous mood! - can't really see the reaction =P
Right, to the point, you CAN'T POSSIBLY MAKE YOURSELF LOVE PEOPLE. It's just, not right. You'll be doing something wrong by being with someone. It would be fake. It would be almost leading them on.
You need to individually meet up with both of them, the first one to explain that you really like being friends with him, that your sorry if you hurt him but that you like it like this. Make it clear that he needs to move on, but be prepared to be there for him.
The second was a bit violent, so I'd meet up with him and see how he goes. If he starts yelling tell him you'll talk to him when he's calmed down. Leave it about 2 weeks or so. Say you don't love him and that you want to be on your own.
You don't seem to be just breaking peoples hearts. You trying to fix peoples hearts. Why are you on this site?! To help people. A 3 and a half year relationship, particularly at 14-nearly 18 shows a huge amount of maturity. Within a short space of time compared with that, you were attracted to someone else. That was it. 2 months is hardly important.
You just need to clear the air, have two extra mates and be alone like you want to.
I think the moderator wrote your question, but if he didn't, there isn't a "Who now?" if you tread carefully but firmly - if that makes ANY(?!?!?!) sense whatsoever.
That basically means be careful with what you say but press down that you don't want to be with them.
Remember what I said about having 2 friends may not happen, because you dumped them and friendship after a relationship doesn't already happen. Just explain it to them and then theres nothing more you can do.
Sorry its long,
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