A
female
age
41-50,
*harpes
writes:I really need help and advice as I'm sure other women have been through this before... My partner of 2 and half year has changed toward me in past few month,we used to be close and he always wanted to be with me,he has alcohol problems and I helped him,and it was very hard has he got nasty sometimes but through my love for him I stood by him. But alatley he has started coming down late and saying he fell asleep,going off through day and not asking me to go with him. Txts and calls rarely happen anymore and if they do its nasty txts! Last week for his birthday I bought trainers tops etc and then said if I loved him I'd top his fone up( I did cos it was his birthday and he reckons his family wouldn't do it or got a card from them) anyway later that night he picked a fight about my past realtionship before him and called me a tramp and fat bitch,he also stole my food and some washing tablets and choclate biscuits(he doesn't like chocolate) I asked him out right to tell me truth that he doesn't love me and just used me(which I feel he has and sex and cuddles stoppes ages ago) he said he does love me but hates me and doesn't want me and then left.I just got abusive txts and then heard nothing for 3 days and then I got a txt saying he loves me but hates my lies(going on about past realtionships,but that was way before him and he was with his ex and I don't want to ask about his past with her) I blanked the txts later I got a txt saying do u want to see me and then same txt again 15 mins later,stupidly I said yes has hoped we could talk and either sort it or end it in a nicer way! He never showed up and I've heard nothing since! I think it was ment for some1 eles! Oh he also asked me in txt who had I slept with night before and put a kiss on end of txtb my head is a mess,I've lost friends through him as I stood by him! I just want to know what to do! He won't tell me if he has met some1! He said he he never wants to have sex with me again! And also was taking his calls outside away from me! He has just changed toward me and is so nasty!and looks miserable when with me. All I did was stand by him and be a true honest partner! Please help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2012): I think that the relationship has come to an end and that he is probably seeing someone else. Before my husband left me he used to have a faraway expression on his face and a distant and miserable look on him like being with me was just a drag. I know you have been kind to him but the best thing you can do with someone like that is just totally ignore him. My husband got to the point where he would only speak to me when he wanted money. Please try and get on with your normal routine and do not text or try to reach him. He is using you and often men like this will call you a liar or pick fights as they feel guilty but want to make it look like you are the trouble maker. I too have received texts which clearly weren't meant for me but gave me an inkling of what was going on. The way to survive this is to be strong and just don't play. From your post he does not appear to be very nice to you and I think you could do a lot lot better. Whatever you do do not ask to see him or give him any money. If he goes back to drink it is not your problem or fault. For now just get on with your day to day life and leave him well alone. Just try to get through each day but please make no contact.
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