A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I dated my ex for a year. He didn't really tell me why he left and he didn't tell me that he didn't want to be in the relationship anymore. The only thing he could tell me was that the relationship was damaged. I felt that if a man really cares about you, he won't be that childish to tell you something if he really wants to end it. I didn't do no more to him than he did to me. I admitted to my faults as a woman but he wouldn't admit to his. I am use to men talking about the problem if it can be fixed. It was hard for me. but I got over it because I knew that I didn't do nothing that bad that he couldn't discuss it with me because we are both adults. It's been five months now and I called him to see if we could go to the park and talk like friends do because I wanted to see if we could just remain friends. He agreed to because I was over the hurt of being with him. I never got that chance to meet with him at the park because he was always busy after he told me that he would. I don't know if he feels like he made a mistake by walking away from a good woman or he just don't want to face me. I just wanted to talk to him because I have to see him in church and I wanted to stay friends with him and not enemies. It's hard being friends with an ex that you have to see that didn't give you an explanation why they left. I feel like I deserve that because I gave him a year of my life. I thought I meant more to him than that and I didn't do nothing that bad to deserve what I got.He stares at me alot and will have the nerve to walk up to me and hug me like I'm just one of the woman in church and we never had any relationship. He feels like that's o.k. because it's o.k. with him. Real men just don't do that. He use to come up to me and speak, but now he doesn't because I brought a friend (male) to church with me one Sunday. Me and him are just friends. Once he seen him, he stop speaking to me, he just stares now at me. I've tried to conversate with him only to be rejected. Why does he care if I bring someone else with me after he wouldn't talk to me? Why does he not speak to me after I tried being his friend because I felt that it was what he wanted?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): This is not an easy situation you are in; you have a lot of unresolved issues with this guy and unfortunately no closure; it also does not sound as if you are going to have that in anytime soon;
You are refering to admitting to faults and him not; I have no idea what went wrong in your relationship, or what caused problems or what could have upset him to refer to the relationhip is damaged;
however, there is not much more you can do at this stage as you have asked this guy to have a talk; he is avoiding it for reasons unkown;
BUT, no matter how difficult this might be; best would be for you to MOVE ON;
dwelling on it, wondering what went wrong or why will not help you; will not give you the answers;
stop thinking about it and try and just be normal when you have to see him at church; treat him like yu will treat anybody else;
I know this is difficult, but you don;t have much choice!
Best wishes.
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