A
male
age
36-40,
*he_flash
writes:I have never been in a romantic relationship with a woman due to the fact that I tend to be painfully she around women in general. I can only attribute this to the fact that I suffer from a learning disability which has greatly impeded my social skills. However, I am not a virgin by any means. I've been sleeping with sex workers since I was 20. Unfortunately, on almost every occasion that I've been with a sex worker, I've prematurely ejaculated, sometimes within seconds. This apparently insurmountable problem that I'm afflicted with , discourages me from having an active dating life. In the event that I actually do find someone who is girlfriend material, how do I satisfy her sexually? Would most women be willing to accept a partner with chronic premature ejaculation, provided that he was wailing to do his best to please them in other ways? Thanks for reading this.
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male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (11 February 2014):
 It is not at all uncommon to cum quickly if you are young and inexperienced and with a professional. All men have a tendency to come quicker with women that they are not familiar with.
1) prepare yourself before a situation in which you will be having sex by knocking one out yourself before going out. This should give you more stamina later on.
2). If you are with a pro ask them to give you a massage first. Lie on your front and let them give you a massage with their hands and with their breasts for at least 10 minutes. Whilst this is going on have a chat with them, they are people too. Talk about something completely non-sexual. If you can't think of anything else to talk about you could ask them for recommendations for restaurants in that area ask them about where they like to eat... This will help to make the whole interaction a) last longer and b) seem more normal.
3). With any women, including a professional (assuming she really is a professional and not some street hooker) you should make sure that she has had an orgasm (or at least convincingly faked one) before your penis even appears on the field of play. If you don't feel confident in how to do this then ask. If you are with a professional then simply say "look I would like to get better at pleasing women with my tongue but I'm not very experienced would you mind showing me what works for you". There are a few bad apples in every profession but most sex professionals are fundamentally decent girls and if you treat them like a human being they will be more than happy to help.
Your problem is not a chronic problem. It will change.
Don't get too hooked on the hookers. There is no great harm in it but you do need to break the connection in your mind between paying out cash and having sex.
A
male
reader, blue_warrior +, writes (5 February 2014):
Thank for replying, everyone. I really do appreciate it. Your responses were extremely helpful and informative. At least now I know what my options are.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (2 February 2014):
Dear OP,
I am not surprised that you ejaculated prematurely on those occasions you describe. Given your social anxiety and the fact that you didn't really know those women, you were probably quite nervous. And on top of that, I believe that prostitutes probably try to get you off as quick as possible, I mean, what's the point for them if you last longer? To them, you're just a horny stranger and they don't want to spend more time with you than necessary. Actually, I read the memoires of a former prostitute where she describes just that. She didn't enjoy the sex with her customers, so she just played she was really horny for them because she found out they came faster when she did (The book is called "Fucking Berlin" by the way).
That said, what worries me more than your premature ejaculation problem is the way you are dealing with your anxiety problems. I understand you're shy and you wanted to get sexual experience. But this kind of "experience" is quite fake. It conditions you to see sex as a one-way street where you pay for a certain service and never get honest feedback about your skills. It conditions you to see women as objects and sex as a trade. It doesn't prepare you for romance and relationships, for flirting, dating or possible rejection.
My advice is, get back to the roots of your problem, which is your social anxiety. Work on that. Preferably with some professional help. Paying for sex is obviously the wrong strategy to become a better lover and more comfortable around women. It gets you what you pay for, okay, but nothing more. And I believe that's not enough to lead a happy live with. So it's time to change plans.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (1 February 2014):
 If I'm understanding things, you have only ever had sex with paid workers, right? Okay, sex with a girlfriend is completely different than sex with workers. In one instance, you have *no* experience whatsoever with a woman.
Sex workers are paid to pretend to like you. They're paid to service you without any true effort from you, and your orgasm is the beginning and end of everything. There is no true intimacy, only payment to a woman to pretend there is.
With a girlfriend, you won't be focused on yourself. You'll be connecting intimately with someone hopefully you know a lot better. You will have had a journey that has begun with the first hug, the first hand holding, the first kiss, the first caress, with getting to know and love your partner being the driving force instead of just forking out the cash for the pretend experience.
The other aunts have had good advice as to how to control ejaculation, and I would tell you that HER pleasure rather than yours will be your focus in an actual relationship. Don't worry so much about being premature as much as learning how to please her.
Remember that sexual intercourse doesn't feel the same to a woman that it does to a guy. Most women cannot be pleased by penetration alone. Her clitoris, rather than her vagina, is the source of her pleasure, and even those women who can have an orgasm through penetration is because of indirect stimulation of the clitoris.
Make sure she orgasms before you even enter her. A good number of women can have more than one in a session, but even if they don't, if you've given her pleasure, it won't matter how long you last when it's your turn. With the pressure off, you may last longer.
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A
male
reader, Gauntlet  +, writes (1 February 2014):
 In order to improve your performances, you could practice on a regular basis the Kegel exercices: http://health.india.com/sexual-health/improve-your-sex-life-with-kegel-exercises-sa114/If it doesn't help or isn't efficient soon enough (who knows, you might as well meet the woman of your life next week ?) as these exercices require some weeks (or months) to produce their first effects, have your doctor prescribe you some Priligy (cf: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dapoxetine ).See how good you idea was to post your question here ?
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A
male
reader, big rob905 +, writes (1 February 2014):
 Theres a couple things you can do with this problem first you can focus a lot on foreplay getting your mate to satisfaction before actual intercourse. Than you can focus on oral sex with your partner before intercourse. than you can ejaculate yourself first than have intercourse after you do this should help when your actually having intercourse try slow your thoughts think about diffrent things other than sex if this dont help you might have to get some supplements totake for premature ejaculation ihope this helps you out .
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